


Why must you be so blind?

by WerewulfTherewulf



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: BTW, Baby Durins, Depression, Emotional Abuse, Fili is dyslexic, Gen, Minor appearance of Fem!Bilbo, Pickles was going to be a boy, Pickles!, Supreme Fili angst, Tags will be updated as we go along, Thorin you ignorant slut, Thorin's A+ Parenting, anyway, but then i realized what a sausage fest this fic already is so, kitties!, there's a kitten! a little girl cat!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-02-12 19:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 29,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2122464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WerewulfTherewulf/pseuds/WerewulfTherewulf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin takes Fili and Kili in after their mother and Kili's father die in a tragic accident. Thorin though, can not look upon his oldest nephew Fili without seeing the volatile, drunk abusive bastard that was his father. The man who beat and tormented Dis for years. Thorin can not look upon Fili without immediately jumping to the conclusion that he too is just as worthless a piece of trash as his father, and treats him exactly as he sees Fili deserves. <br/>(Finished, finally!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FiliKiliThorinForever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiliKiliThorinForever/gifts).



> For FiliKiliThorinForever because we both have agreed that there is a severe lack of Fili angst going on in this fandom, and we're here to remedy such a terrible situation uvu  
> \--
> 
> http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/4373.html?thread=9753109
> 
> Fíli and Kíli's parents died and Thorin has to take them in, but what if the father was only Kíli's father, not Fíli's and Fíli's father was a drunk, abusive bastard who hurt Dís and she had to ran away from him with a baby Fíli before he met Kíli's father, a great men who loved and cared for his family a lot.  
> Thorin hated Fíli's father with all his being cause he knows how much he hurt Dís and hates Fíli too for he can't help but see the resemblance to his son of a bitch father and pretty much assumes Fíli is just a worthless a trash like him. He is more than happy to take Kíli with him cause he loves him like a son, but Fili? he would rather left him in an orphanage... or find his father and leave him with him...
> 
> JUST GIVE ME FÍLI ANGST PLEASE
> 
> +10000 if Thorin eventually realizes what a kind and sweet child Fíli is, and how much he loves and cares for his little brother so he warms up to him, much against his will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, if you are reading this for the very first time I bet you are super confused! It's all in Finnish!? I assure you this is not permanent, it's just a stupid joke. There is a full explanation at chapter 14. :) Stick with me and subscribe and you'll get an update tomorrow that's not only a bonus chapter but a notification letting you know that things are back to normal here :)

**_Wednesday, June 28th_ **

He was out buying a coffee on his way to work when he got the call. There was a fire, and now both of them were gone. Dis and Raus, trapped in their home as it burned down to the ground; it was suspected arson. Thorin felt his knees go weak and just about collapsed on the ground right then and there, in the middle of the coffee shop.

_"The boys weren't at home, they are fine,”_

Thorin let out a huge sigh of relief and finally did manage to flop into a nearby chair, willing himself not to break out in tears. His little sister, gone, just like that. His heart dropped impossibly further into his stomach. The last thing he had said to her was a broken promise to take more time off for himself, and that was at least two weeks ago. Thorin froze and lifted his head, gazing towards nothing in particular. The boys. The boys are fine, they said, but now with both their parents dead… where would they go? That’s when the second call came.

\--

**_Sunday, July 2_ **

He couldn't help but be nervous. What do little boys like now a days? Would they find their room acceptable, or would they hate it? He remembers Dis mentioned once, when prompted, that one of her children _loved_ sharks, and all the creatures of the sea. The other preferred dinosaurs. He bought a lot of themed items for both, and placed them each on their own side of the bedroom in hopes that it would be acceptable. The room itself was big enough for the boys to share, with a bed on each side and their own desks and space to play in between.

But what if they hated him? What if he made everything worse for them? He was never good with children, if he were to be honest with himself, and was the absolute last person in his family that should be put in charge of them. He was all they had left though. What if he was so horrible a guardian that they'd be taken away forever? What if? He wished Frerein were still here. He'd be much better at this.

Thorin fidgeted with his tie as he stood a nervous wreck several feet before the front door. He was so terrified that he’d mess up or do something stupid, he couldn’t even choose what to wear that morning. He ended up calling his best friend for help. In fifteen minutes flat Dwalin came over and gave Thorin a small bottle of liquid courage, chose a nice outfit for him and helped him tidy up around the house. They crafted a platter of cheese and crackers together and made sure the fridge was stocked with cold drinks. Unsure whether he should be there or not, Dwalin left a half hour before the boys were set to arrive, but not before giving Thorin a little pep talk.

It was a tense thirty minutes. Thorin could hear every small sound coming from outside, and they all had him leaping up and going to look out the peephole. Eventually he decided it best if he were to just stand there and wait in front of the door. So for twenty minutes, there he stood, yanking at his shirt cuffs and brushing off any minute amount of debris from his coat. Thorin just about shot through the roof when they finally arrived, a loud rapping coming from the other side of the front door.

He jumped to let them in almost instantly, laughing nervously. At first he only caught a quick glimpse of the boys, trailing behind the petite redhead that led them in. It wasn’t until he asked their temporary caretaker, Vonla, if she'd like a snack that he was able to get a good look at them. Such an offer tickled her fancy, so he scrambled into the kitchen to grab the cheese platter. Taking his time, Thorin braved a glance through the window overlooking the other room. Both of them were sitting on the sofa on either side of Vonla, hugging their backpacks to their small chests. It was all they had left, Thorin realized. The smaller one ( _Kili,_ his memory provided. _That one is Kili and the other one is Fili,_ ) had his head ducked down, so his face was shrouded completely by his hair. Both his and his brother’s legs gently kicked against the couch.

Thorin’s eyes slid over to Fili, who unlike his brother was looking around the room with a calm demeanor, taking it all in. His eyes revealed that he had been crying at some point earlier though, as his eyes were red and he had tear tracks running down his cheeks. Their gaze met for a split second, but to Thorin it felt like hours. _Befob._

He was thrown back into several brief flashbacks then, all unpleasant. Memories of Dis coming home one day from school with a boyfriend who was three years her senior and clearly from the wrong side of the tracks. He, Thrain and Frerin immensely disapproved of him, but Dis was adamant that they not judge a book by its cover.

Of Dis coming home from a long weekend away with Befob, a shiny new ring on her finger after being together only six months, a new home and a bruise on her arm. She laughed and brushed it off, telling them that Befob was a big teddy bear and just didn't know his strength sometimes; it was her fault anyway, she explained. She was running around being silly and obnoxious and he had to grab a hold of her. It was not uncommon for her to visit home with other scratches and bruises after that.

Of Dis sneaking home and into his bed one night, wailing. She sobbed to him about Befob, who had run off when she announced her pregnancy; how he had left when she refused an abortion. He had shouted, screamed, hit her and had a huge tantrum about it, crashing about their home and destroying many things before finally charging out, slamming the door deafeningly behind him.

Thrain and Frerin hunted him down and forced him into a shotgun marriage, after Dis convinced them that she wouldn’t let him hurt her any more. It was just the drink that made him like this, and she’d make him quite cold turkey! The court wedding came and went (no one knew until she came home declaring the news), and not long afterwards, they disappeared. There was not a single word from either of them, and no one knew anything about where they could possibly be. They had just dropped off the face of the planet. What was left of his family didn't even receive an announcement about the birth of her child, when the time finally came.

Two years later, on a particularly rainy day, she showed back up on their doorstep out of the great beyond. She was bruised, beaten, soaked through and a weeping mess, holding a suitcase and a screaming toddler. The tiny blond boy had about as many bruises as his mother, and Thorin vowed right then to never let his sister out of his sight ever again, and to exact revenge on the man who had stolen her away. Befob did end up going to prison not long after, for several unrelated minor charges. It wasn’t what Thorin had in mind, and he wasn’t happy, but it was at least something.

He was glad to be rid of the man, and glad to have the knowledge that he’d never have to look upon his garish face ever again.

And yet, there he was, staring right back at him.

Thorin forced himself to look away, then to Kili. As if feeling his uncle’s gaze, the child looked up at him, and Thorin’s heart stilled for but a moment; so similar was Kili to his mother that Thorin had completely expected to be looking into her eyes, as he did with Fili. Instead he had his father’s eyes, and Kili’s father was a man Thorin had respected.

When Dis came home to them that day with Fili in her arms, Thorin had made himself that promise to protect her. He had forgotten, though, that within the next few months he would be leaving away again for school. He nearly dropped out just to be with her and her young son, but she argued with him that he absolutely would not end his education just for her. Firm in her stance, Thorin relented. Three months into the school semester, Thorin was put on edge when he caught wind of a mystery man that had entered his little sister’s life. She had gotten a part-time job as a cashier in the local grocery store, and had been charmed by a fellow co-worker who would constantly flirt with her and give her compliments and sweet smiles. The rest of the family was understandably wary, but it didn’t take long for the phone calls Thorin was getting to do nothing but praise the man.

He, like Befob, was a few years older than Dis. While she was a cashier, this man, Raus Vornson, worked in the bakery. Every time he went on his lunch he would ‘forget’ his cupcake when going through Dis’ line, and had on multiple occasions given her his number. She turned him down the first several times, but then she had brought Fili in with her to shop for groceries. Fili was a quiet child, and he usually kept to himself. But then he met Raus, and Dis had had never heard him laugh so loud, or seen him so happy. The meeting lasted ten minutes, and little Fili was red-faced, sobbing from laughter and three chocolate-chip cookies richer by the end of it.

Thorin came home for winter break and finally got a chance to meet Raus. He was just as everyone had said. Raus was kind and caring, took Dis and Fili out for daytime activities, and spoiled them rotten. By the end of his break Thorin was all but shouting at them to get married. They finally were not long after, and five months after Fili’s third birthday, Kili arrived in the world. Thorin never was able to spend as much time with his family a he wished after college. He had immediately been hired into a CEO position and from then on was always busy. But now, he’d have the time to be with his nephews. And if he didn’t, then he would make time.

\--

The first week was painfully awkward. He showed them to their rooms and helped them unpack what little they had left. For dinner they had Macaroni and cheese (” _Just go with this. Kids love it. I love Mac n’ Cheese. You love Mac n’ Cheese. Everyone loves fucking Mac n’ Cheese, you can not go wrong with this shit okay?”_ and Dwalin was right. Thank you Dwalin), and a small side of veggies. Kili, he noticed, took special initiative to avoid any of his pasta touching the peas and carrots, of which he ate none. Fili ate them all immediately though, before taking several big gulps from his glass of milk and continuing on to his macaroni. Thorin chastised him for eating with such speed, but other than that, no one said a single word the entire evening.

That first night, it was Kili who snuck into his bedroom, after having a bad nightmare. He stood at the end of the bed staring at Thorin until he finally woke up, and startled at seeing Kili there.

“What’s it?” he mumbled groggily. Kili whispered something and looked to the ground. “Huh?” eloquent as always, Thorin sat up and turned on the bedstand light. “C’mere, what’s wrong?”

“Had a bad dream,” Kili sniffled, shuffling around to Thorin’s side of the bed. A lump formed in Thorin’s throat, and he reached over and pulled Kili onto the bed with him. Kili scrambled under the sheets when prompted, and snuggled into his uncle’s side.

“Do you want to talk about it, little one?” asked Thorin gently.

Kili didn’t say anything for a moment. “We went to the waters park with Amad and Adad and had lots of fun. Me n’ F’lea played with duckies and we got ‘scream,” he finally told Thorin, rubbing his eye with his fist. Thorin frowned.

“Well that sounds like quite a good dream to me,”

“No. Amad and Adad can not take us to the waters park anymore,” Kili began crying then. Thorin just held him close and fell alseep wet and sticky from mucous.

The next night, it was Fili. Unlike his brother, he knocked lightly on Thorin’s door and waited for him to answer. He waited a few moments more before knocking again, and this time the door swung open quite suddenly, startling Fili. Thorin stood looming over him, blinking the sleep from his eyes.

“Yes?” he grumbled, watching Fili blink up at him with wet eyes. The child stood there in his new pair of pajamas, holding to his chest the large, stuffed Brontosaurus Thorin had bought him.

“I had a bad dream,” he whispered, looking to the ground. Thorin crouched down and picked him up wordlessly, and carried him back to his bed.

The night after that, and for the rest of the week and into next’s, both boys slept curled up into him. It was mostly touch and go for a month, but as school loomed ever closer, both boys opened up considerably in excitement. Especially Kili, who would be starting school for the first time this year.

Within the week, they went back to school shopping. Thorin made sure to pick out all the best items for the boys, and even let Kili pick out a small toy when asked (‘asked’ meaning begged and begged and oh please Uncle Thorin ple-ase!). Fili politely asked about a small toy lion a short time later, but Thorin declined without so much as looking at his nephew. “No,” he began, “you have enough toys as it is.”

He handed Fili the shopping list while he looked at something on a shelf, then continued walking. "Read off the next items for me," he told Fili. The boy looked at the list, scrunching up his face in concentration. Not paying attention to anything else, Fili stepped on one of his shoelaces, tripped, and skidded first onto his knees then his stomach. Sighing, Thorin reached down and helped pull him up by his elbow, taking the list back. "Nevermind," he grumbled, starting to move again once Fili tied this shoe.

Kili, from the child's seat in the cart, frowned. "Fee are you ok?" he asked, worried. Fili just smiled at him and nodded.

"'Course I am, Kee! But I'll be even better if you kiss my elbow and make it better," he said, holding his arm up to his little brother. Squealing in delight, Kili stretched over and smooched Fili's arm. "There! Now I'm even all better! Thank you Kili!" Fili grinned.

  



	2. Chapter 2

**_Wednesday, August 28th_ **

Thorin sat at his small kitchen table that afternoon, enjoying the silence. By one elbow was his now cold mug of tea, and by the other was the small stack of papers from work that he had yet to go through and sign.

He was procrastinating, reading the day's newspaper that he had neglected thus far. Without looking up from it, he reached for his mug and took a big gulp. Instantly he shuddered when he discovered just how long it had been since he made it, and placed it none too gently back down. In doing so, it splashed out all over and hit his sleeve, a small portion of the table and his stack of papers.

Cursing under his breath, Thorin stood up and brought the mug over to the sink. He dumped out what was left and threw away the tea bag. With a wet rag now in his hand he turned to clean up his mess, but stopped short when he spotted his oldest nephew standing in the doorway. He was holding a paper in both his hands, and pointedly avoiding Thorin's gaze. Thorin sighed and leaned all his weight back onto the sink.

“What is it?” he asked deadpan.

Fili glanced down at the sheet then looked up at Thorin, nervous. He grabbed the straps of his backpack unconsciously, causing a part of his paper to crumple up.

“I have to do a report on my favourite animal. Could you please help me? ...I don’t really know what to do,” he muttered, walking over to Thorin and holding out the paper to him.

’ _I am sure that what he means by_ help _is me doing all of the actual work, while he slacks off,’_ Thorin thought bitterly. He stood up straight then, to put that much more space between them, and didn’t take the paper. He threw a sharp glance over to the table, where his own stack of papers lay. He pointed to them lazily.

“I am busy. I have my own work to do. You can use an encyclopedia,” he told Fili, returning to the table without looking back. He wiped up the small puddle and dabbed at his papers, then returned the rag to the sink. Taking the time to rinse out his cup, Thorin grabbed the pen from behind his ear and sat back down in front of his papers, getting straight to work.

Fili was too baffled to move. Surely, Fili thought, Thorin would help him out. His teacher told him he would, and Thorin assisted Kili willingly, always. Fili almost never asked for anything!

Thorin looked up at him after a moment, brows furrowed. “Go do your homework, you are distracting me,” he said coldly.

“Oh, um… ok.” Fili gave a minute nod and turned around, walking out of the kitchen without a sound. Thorin heard the telltale sign of the library door sliding open, and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Just another mess to clean up later,’ he thought. He pictured the pile of books and papers he would without a doubt have to put away after the lazy child and sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah whoops super short sorry
> 
> I have another bit that's finished but it takes place in the same exact location and I don't want those two back to back so I'll try to get something else in between them first


	3. Chapter 3

**_Tuesday, August 20th_ **

Thorin took time off work so he could properly see the boys off to school, and to pick them up when the day ended. He let the boys runs into his arms when they spotted him, and he quickly let go of Fili to pick Kili up and place him on his hip. “Hey, you. How was your first day?” he asked Kili with a bright grin. He turned and began walking back towards his car as Kili chattered away, Fili trailing close behind.

When they reached the vehicle, Kili was less than enthused to find that his uncle had bought a booster seat for him. “Uncle, I don’t need this!” he whined. Thorin ignored his protests and forced him in, buckling him up.

“You do,” he told Kili, “because you are too small and this will keep you nice and safe,” he explained, smiling. Kili kept moaning and groaning, and Thorin just snorted and ruffled Kili’s hair. Fili hopped in and pulled his own seatbelt over himself as Thorin said, “It’s not for long, don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll shoot up like a weed soon enough, and then you won't be needing it at all.”

The drive home was short enough, and once Kili was unleashed, he charged to the front door like a bullet. Thorin followed him casually, but turned and frowned when he noticed Fili had not caught up yet. Fili was sliding out of his side of the car, and leant back in for a moment when his feet hit the ground.

“Don’t dawdle,” Thorin scolded. Fili looked back at him as he closed the door, with both his and Kili’s backpacks equipped to his back and stomach.

“‘M not Uncle, just getting our things,” Fili called back to him. Thorin just rolled his eyes and locked the vehicle.

“Well hurry up,” he told Fili, and the boy jogged up to him, reaching to grab his free hand. Thorin immediately pulled it away before the child had a chance to grab it, and Fili looked up at him, upset. Once inside, Thorin pulled off Kili’s backpack from Fili’s front and instructed him to go do his homework. He walked away, calling out for Kili and asking if he would need help with his.

Hurt by his uncle’s slight and coldness, Fili trudged upstairs to his shared room and climbed into his desk chair. He was still too small for it, and so had to sit on his knees to be able to work properly. He took out his pencils and worksheets, and went immediately to his math paper. Math so far was his favourite subject. It was the easiest for him to understand and it didn’t require much reading, which he had lots of trouble with.

He zipped through his math sheet, then went to his science one. He stared at the instructions and tried to make sense of them for a few seconds, but got distracted by the pictures that adorned it. He scrunched up his face and thought real hard, trying to find some connection between what words he was able to understand and the pictures. He got distracted again though by the sound of the birds chirping outside his window.

He looked up and watched as they jumped around from branch to branch, and then he tried to go back to concentrating on his work. He found himself zoning in and out within moments, still having trouble making out the jumble of letters on his papers. This went on for another fifteen minutes until Fili was distracted by the sound of his little brother’s laughter.

Sighing and giving up on his work, Fili slid out of his chair, out of the room and down to the first floor. As soon as he reached the bottom of the stairs he could see his brother and their uncle playing together in the backyard through the arcadia door.

With a little bit of trouble, he opened and closed the door behind himself, joining them outside. Thorin took notice of him almost immediately, and let Kili crash into his shins before standing straight and crossing his arms.

“Have you finished your work?” he asked Fili.

Fili shook his head. “Um, no, I--”

“Then what are you doing down here?” Thorin's frown deepened and Kili ran over to his brother, grabbing his hand and leading him back inside.

"C'mon F'lea, ya gotta finish yer homework so we can play together!"

Fili smiled weakly and let himself be dragged by his brother. "I know Kee, but I need h--"

"Yeah so you need to hurry up ok? I'll be waiting right here and I won't do anything fun without you, I promise!"

Fili sighed, but nodded. "Alright Kee, I'll try to get done real fast, just for you," he tried to smile, but it was more of a grimace, and he climbed back up the stairs at a slow pace.

\--

Hours later, it was dinner time, and Fili had made little to no progress on the rest of his homework. He kept getting distracted by his thoughts and just couldn't put forth the effort to focus. He had ended up drawing small doodles on the corner of his desk after a while, and almost jumped out of his skin when Kili crashed through the door.

"Dinner's ready dinner's ready! Are you ready I'm ready let's g-o-o!" he shouted, running circles around the room. Fili laughed and ran after him, trying to catch and tame the little monster. That gave him an idea, and Fili quickly dove under his bed, searching for his plastic Pokeball.

He found it and shimmied back out from his bed, stood and threw it wildly at Kili. It was a lucky shot, and popped him on the head, before flying away. _"Pokeball go!!!_ " he shouted.

Kili screamed and laughed at the same time, and collapsed on the ground. "Oh no you caught me!" he bellowed, shrill laughter escaping him as Fili collapsed on top of him.

Fili was in the middle of tickling him when Thorin appeared in the doorway. "Fili, get off your brother. Dinner is ready, come eat,"

Fili obliged and helped Kili get to his feet, who was wiping the tears from his eyes. Before they could leave the room, Kili threw himself at Fili and gave him a bear hug.

"You're the best big brother ever!" he yelled into Fili's stomach. Fili grinned and hugged him back even tighter.

"You're pretty great too little Kee,"

Kili pulled away from him and ran out of the room. "OK let's go I'm hungry!" he said. Fili laughed and ran after him, sliding on the wood floor in his socks.

\--

That night's meal was mashed potatoes, steamed asparagus, and chicken nuggets. Kili got a great big heaping plate of the potatoes and nuggets, and Thorin had to persuade him to getting at least a little bit of the veggies.

"Don't you want to grow to be big and strong like Captain Punchies? You know how he got to be so strong? Eating his vegetables,"

Kili kept pushing them around his plate, "Yeah, but Cap'n Punchies has radioactive powers too! If I eat these will I get super cool powers too?"

"Well--"

"Adad once told me that some people... if they eat a lot of asparagus, then their pee would smell like it... I think? So maybe that'll be your super power," Fili piped up.

" _Fili!_ " Thorin hissed, right as Kili's face lit up like a full moon. He immediately began thrusting any and all asparagus he could reach into his mouth. Thorin's glare filled small Fili with dread.

"Do _not_ say such crude things at the dinner table! Any desert that was to be had tonight is now not happening, thanks to you. Now be quiet and finish your dinner," he chastised. Kili slowed down in shoveling asparagus into his mouth and stared in horror. He was smart enough not to say anything though, for once, and he slowed down in his eating and tried to do it as quiet as possible.

Fili kept his head low and ate a few more bites of food before relenting and just pushing it around on his plate.

"Are you finished?" Thorin asked, quiet. Fili's nod was minute and Thorin barely caught sight of it.

"I'm full, Uncle. May I please be excused?" Fili whispered.

Thorin grunted. "Don't put so much food on your plate if you're just going to waste it all. Clean up and go to bed." he ordered. Fili nodded again and stood up out of his chair, pushing it in and leaving for the kitchen with his plate.

Fili went upstairs after cleaning of his plate and put his unfinished homework in his backpack. He dressed into his pajamas and settled into bed, his heart aching. A while later, Thorin carried a sleepy Kili in and tucked him in bed, kissing him goodnight. He left without a glance to Fili and closed the door gently behind him.

Fili sighed and snuggled further into his pillow, but was startled by a small hand on his shoulder. Turning, he saw it was Kili, standing on the tips of his toes. "Kissie?" he asked hopefully.

Fili smiled and sat up so he could lean over and kiss his brother on the forehead. Kili returned the gesture and Fili could tell by the stickiness of his mouth that he had gotten ice cream.

"Good night Flea!" Kili whispered.

"Goodnight Kee,"

  



	4. Chapter 4

**_Sunday, September 6th_ **

Kili came to him one day, and babbled on and on about the project he had to do. Hanging onto one of Thorin's hands with both of his own, and twisting around in a wild manner, Kili begged and pleaded with him for his help.

"Uncle ya gotta help! Ya gotta, ya gotta, ya gotta!!" he whined, still flailing and yanking on the hand. Thorin smiled down at him, and crouched to pick him up.

"Of course I'll help," he told Kili. How could he not? "Just tell me what you need,"

And that's how Thorin found himself trudging through the huge crowds of the shopping mall, carrying Kili in one arm and clutching Fili's wrist with the other. They were in search of a specialty shop, only one of which existed. That single shop was in the local mall, which Thorin wouldn't have minded going to during the week, but Kili didn't tell him about this project until Saturday evening. The Saturday evening before it was due on Monday morning. Thorin would find out very quickly that Kili had this nasty habit of forgetting to tell him about important things until the very last minute.

Tired, frustrated and lost, Thorin led the boys over to one of the mall maps. Next to it was a large fountain, which both Fili and Kili sat down on the edge of while they waited. Finally finding their goal, Thorin leant back down and picked Kili up. He gave the map another quick glance and began off in the correct direction.

They ended up having to check more maps several times after Thorin ( _absolutely did not!_ ) got lost and there was a brief bathroom break before finally they made it to their destination. They spent about an hour collection foams and paints and other supplies needed for Kili’s book project, and Kili even got a plastic headband that had glow-in-the-dark alien head antennae attached by long springs.

As they left, Kili tugged on Thorin’s hand. “Uncle! Can we get ‘scream? I want ‘scream,” he said. Thorin grimaced. He didn’t really want to be spoiling his nephew so much… but he couldn’t help it.

“Of course. Let’s go find that shop we walked by earlier,”

“Yay! Thank you Uncle! F’lea, what are you gonna-- Fee? Uncle, Fee’s gone!” Kili cried, running a bit away to see if he could find his brother. Thorin startled. What? Fili’s gone? What was that fool boy thinking, straying off on his own!

He sprinted over to Kili and scooped him up before he too became lost. “Kili, where was the last place you saw him?” he asked.

Kili, who was already a weeping mess, had shoved his face into the crook of Thorin’s neck, snot and tears getting everywhere. “T-The fountain!” he sobbed.

 _Fountain? What fount--_ that _fountain??? All the way back--_ fuck. Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose and looked at his surroundings. He thought he recalled coming from the north exit… but he wasn’t sure. The eastern exit looked awfully familiar too. Well there was only one way to find out.

He hustled out the northern exit and down the flight of stairs. Every time he reached a fork in the road he would choose the path that looked the most familiar to him, and he could help but think of those choose your own adventure books he used to be really into when he was young. Left, right, right, center, right, left. Wait, didn’t they just pass that fake tree? Fuck.

At this rate, they would never find Fili. Thorin slowed down to a stop at the thought. All he had to do was walk out of the mall and go home with Kili and their purchases. “ _I’m sorry, Kili.”_ he’d say, “ _He’s gone. There was nothing I could do. He got lost and…”_

“Uncle!! There’s the lost and found we should go there!” Kili shook him from his thoughts. Sure enough, straight ahead was a small center for lost items and… lost children. Thorin couldn’t hold back a snort at the thought that so many children got lost often enough that they had to create its own center.

Thorin went ahead and carried Kili in, and sure enough, there was Fili, sitting on an old plastic chair in the far corner. “FILI!!” Kili screeched right in Thorin’s ear. He struggled violently until Thorin almost dropped him, and when he was finally released he sprinted right over to Fili.

The blond child was sitting quietly by himself, a lollipop sticking out of his mouth. Kili crashed right into him, causing him almost to choke. “ _Fili…_ ” Kili cried, forcing his way onto his brother’s lap. Fili hugged him close and relaxed his chin on top of Kili’s head, taking care to avoid Thorin’s gaze. Thorin sighed and sat down in the chair next to the boys.

“Fili. Don't wander off on your own like that, it upsets your brother. What were you thinking--"

“Oh! Are you Fili’s father?” A thin, homely woman with stale brown hair walked over to them.

“Father? No, I’m his uncle,”

The woman looked relieved. “Oh, I’m so glad. Fili here, what a smart and mature boy! Made his way right in here telling me he lost his family after turning away for two seconds to tie his shoe!”

Thorin gave a jerky nod. “Yes, of course,” he mumbled. “Thank you for watching him.” the woman smiled then walked off, and Thorin stood up. He turned to grab Kili from Fili’s lap. He was surprised when Kili protested, and climbed down himself. He took a firm hold of one of Fili’s hands and refused to let go.

“No!” he snapped. “I’m not lettin’ go! I’m not losing you e’r ‘gain!” he snuffled and moved his grip into hugging Fili’s whole arm tightly. Fili whispered something into his ear, and stubbornly, Kili held out his other hand to their uncle. “‘K let’s go home.” he pouted. “Can’t lose Fee at home.”

 

* * *

 I am on a freaking roll you guys. This is excellent. I'll have more up tomorrow probably B)

So I realized that I should prob let you guys know that for the duration of this fic, Kili is 6-7, and Fili is 9-10. For Thorin's appearance, I'm thinking [Richard Armitage Into the Storm premiere](http://33.media.tumblr.com/2ff94e9529a83605ee1192af13d36a39/tumblr_n9uke7whA11sdnh2io2_500.gif)

  



	5. Chapter 5

_**Friday, September 26th** _

 Progress reports for the boys came in the mail that day, and Thorin was livid. Kili's was impeccable, naturally. He expected no less from the child. He was only six though, and it was hard to get anything less than an A+ when naming farm animals. But still, Thorin was proud. Fili, on the other hand…

He had gotten top marks in the math and science departments, but those meant nothing when it came to the blemishes that were the rest of his grades. Low D in writing, and an F in reading. Despicable. And to top it all off, there at the bottom written in garish red ink was _Parent conference requested; important matters to discuss_.

Frerin, Dis, and himself had _never_ been called in for a conference in school, and had never gotten anything less than top grades. He had expected the same from both of the boys, but it was clear that Fili had an entirely different agenda planned out. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Thorin glided back into the house, putting much effort into not slamming the door behind him. He walked straight ahead and placed the mail on the island counter, and walked into the backyard where the children were playing.

 The boys were simultaneously play-wrestling and kicking a ball back and forth to each other merrily when Thorin called out to Fili. “Fili. Come here,” he boomed, easily garnering the boys’ attention.

 Fili and Kili looked at each other, and Fili weakly tossed the ball to Kili before making his way to Thorin with hesitant steps. “We need to have a discussion,” Thorin told him. He took hold of Fili’s elbow and all but dragged him inside, Fili looking helplessly behind at Kili.

 Thorin led him to the island counter and instructed him to sit on the stool next to him. “Would you care to explain this?” he asked, sliding the progress report towards Fili. Fili picked it up and stared at it for a few moments before glancing up at Thorin carefully. A very small and sheepish smile made its way to his face.

 “I got very good marks in most of the categories?” he suggested, hiding his face behind his bangs. His heart plummeted to his stomach when he saw Thorin’s reaction.

 In a frighteningly calm tone, Thorin said to him, “You will go to your room, and you will stay there unless I tell you otherwise. You are to go without dinner and you are not to speak to Kili for the rest of the day. Now move.”

 Trembling, Fili complied with great haste, and tried to keep his tears at bay. 

\---

 It was the next day, in the early afternoon, and Thorin was sat at his favourite small kitchen table, shuffling through the month’s bills. He had allowed Fili to finally leave his shared room that morning, and had left the boys to their own devices since then. He jerked his head up slightly in shock when Fili appeared in the doorway and called out to him.

 “Yes?” he asked deadpan, making an obvious show of checking his wristwatch. This flustered Fili, so he hurried and said his part.

 "It's gonna be Kili's birthday next weekend," both he and Thorin glanced over to the wall calendar over by the fridge. It was covered in several small notes already, but glaringly obvious in one of the small squares was 'K I L I ' S BERHTDAY!!!!!!!!!!', adorned with poorly drawn cake and balloons. It overlapped some of Thorin's own notes, but he found that he didn't mind all that much, and just wrote them down again elsewhere.

 "Yes, I am vaguely aware of that." He turned back to look at Fili blankly, waiting for him to go on.

 "I was wondering... if... we could go present shopping for him? I have all my allowance saved up, I can use that!" Fili explained anxiously, holding up his little ceramic bank, shaped like a gastonia dinosaur. It was one of his few possessions that had survived the fire, and the change jingled within its glassy confines. Thorin eyed it skeptically.

 "How much is in there?" He asked. Fili shook it again, but then shrugged.

 "I don't know. But it sounds like a lot!"

 "And all you have is coins?"

 Fili nodded hesitantly, beginning to feel uncertain about himself. Thorin scoffed. "You can not pay in all coins, it is unethical." he turned back to his documents, and Fili gave him a quiet affirmation that he understood, and left.

 Shaking his head irritably, Thorin tried to pick up where he left off, but found he could not. Instead, he sat back in his chair and debated over what he should make for dinner for a few peaceful moments.

 "Thorin?"

 He turned his gaze back towards the doorway, where Fili stood once more. Thorin crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows, looking at Fili expectantly.

 “Do you think Mister Balin would be able to take me present shopping for Kili?” _Since you obviously will not_.

 “ _Possibly._ If you are going to pester him about it, don’t just expect him to drop everything and take you right away. Make sure he knows beforehand.”

 “I know. Can I…call him maybe, and ask? Can I have his telephone number please?”

 Thorin flicked his wrist towards one of the kitchen drawers. “It is in the address book. And watch your mouth, don’t talk back to me like that.”

 Fili nodded and scuttled over to the drawer, standing on his toes when he opened it to dig around and find what he was looking for. He made a noise of contentment when he found the small book, old and worn down that it was, decorated with tacky kitten art. He continued to scrounge around the drawer, looking for a pen and some paper he could use to write down the number when he found it.

 He pushed the drawer shut gently and walked to Thorin’s small table, pulling out the chair opposite Thorin and climbing on. Having to sit on his knees and unable to pull the seat back towards the table any more (without making that godawful noise and jerking the surface around), he leaned forward onto the edge as he flipped through the address book. The actions greatly surprised Thorin, because he didn’t expect Fili to… _have the nerve_ , he supposed, to just go and sit at his table without even asking. He was too shocked to be really angry about it, and his only solution was to mind his own business while Fili did his.

 What had started as only a mild annoyance to Thorin grew into something greatly agitating when after five minutes of deafening silence, Fili had done nothing but flip through another page every few seconds. Thorin watched him go from cover to cover of the old battered thing at least four times now. He didn’t know what to say to the boy about it, so he just sat back and stared at him coldly. Fili finally noticed only moments later.

 “Have you tried ‘D’, yet? For Davadan?” Thorin asked him sardonically.

 They stared at each other, and slowly, Fili’s face became more and more red from embarrassment. “O-oh, no. S-sorry, I… um, I c-can’t really read it…” his gaze shot back down to the book, and he looked ready to cry from shame.

 Thorin’s eyebrows rose more and more as Fili continued to talk. “Are you saying I have terrible handwriting?” he asked calmly, his underlying tone a dangerous one. Fili’s head shot back up.

 "No!” _Actually, it is pretty terrible._ “I just can’t… um, I have trouble--”

Thorin sighed and grabbed the book out of the boy’s hands without much force, along with Fili’s pen and paper. He quickly found Balin’s cell phone number and wrote it down for the boy, handing the information back to him. Fili thanked him quietly and jumped to the ground, making Thorin roll his eyes as Fili disappeared from the kitchen once more, but not before pushing in his chair politely.

 

* * *

 

ok so this one is honestly my favourite, though I don't know why. Maybe because it seems -- [Gastonia](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/35/Gastonia_burgei_dinosaur.png), by the way -- particularly vicious. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i'm a horrible person  
so here I am updating another chapter right now because I woke up after 3 hours of sleep (um Hot Fuzz was on, do you expect me not to watch that all the way through excuse u) to all your kind and benevolent comments AND THE RAAAIIINNN O3O I tried to go back to sleep but you guys kept commenting and I kept getting more and more pumped about what I'm going to do with this so :P

stay classy san diego ♥

oh p.s. I actually a long time ago made in the sims the house that these idiots live in, but looking back at the screenshots I'm just like 'what the hell was i thinking i'm terrible at making houses' so I'm going to end up redoing it all when I get home tomorrow (? hopefully jfc) and get electricity, then I'll have screenshots for you! :3


	6. Chapter 6

**_Monday, September 29th_ **

“Kili,” Thorin started one night at dinner, “your birthday is very soon--”

“ _YEAH_  IT IS!” Kili shouted, smacking his hands excitedly on the table. Thorin reached over and grasped his hands gently to stop him, smiling the entire time.

Thorin ate a spoonful of peas before continuing. “Is there anything that you want?”

Kili laughed, “Well _yeah_ ,” he said through a mouthful of lasagna. “but if I had ta choose _one_  thing-- do I hafta choose one Uncle?”

“Well I suppose it would depend. What do you want more than anything?”

“MMmmmmm… a lion!”

Fili and Thorin shouted at the same time, “ _What!_ ”

“I want a baby lion! That way I can have two Fleas!” Kili giggled wildly, looking over to his brother with nothing but adoration and fondness. Fili turned red and Thorin shot a horrified look at him.

“ _Absolutely not!_ ” he found himself shouting without thinking. Both boys jumped in shock, and it was clear to Thorin, when he looked at them, that each took his response differently. Fili knew exactly what Thorin meant, and hid behind his hair as he continued eating.

Thorin cleared his throat and took Kili’s hand. “Kili, my dear one. Pets are a big responsibility. I don’t think you’re quite old enough yet to take on that responsibility. Maybe in a few years we can get you a puppy?”

Kili pouted and stabbed at what was left of his lasagna. “Whatever,” he grumbled.

Thorin sighed and rolled his eyes. “Just let me know what else it is you want, and I’ll see what I can do. Does that sound okay?” he asked. Kili didn’t acknowledge him. He quickly shoveled the rest of his food in his mouth and jumped out of his seat, plate in hand.

“I’m done I’m going to bed.” he declared. “Come on, Fee.”

Thorin shot Fili a look, and the blond hesitated. He was turned in his seat, ready to slide off with this plate, which still had some food on it. “Wasting food again?” Thorin asked, bitter. His eyes not leaving Thorin’s, Fili slid off his chair and disappeared after his brother.

For the next few days, Kili continued to mope around. Each passing day though, it became less and less, and Thorin could easily see his underlying excitement. Thorin sat on the edge of Kili’s bed that night, after he had tucked him in. “Uncle, no, you can’t! You’ll miss my birthday!”

“I won’t, Kili, I promise. I’ll be back just in time. It’s only for a few days,” Thorin tried to reassure his nephew. He got a last minute call from his firm telling him that he was to be sent on an important business trip for careful negotiations.

“But Uncle!” Kili whine and pouted for a few moments. “I’ll miss you lots! Too much lots! Flea will too! Tell him Flea, tell him we’ll miss him!” Both Kili and Thorin stared at Fili now. The older child was already completely tucked in, and had his back towards them. When Kili called out to him, he curled in on himself further, and didn’t reply. Thorin scoffed loudly, and turned back to Kili.

He leaned down and kissed him on his forehead. “It’ll be alright, Kili. You’ll go stay with Balin for a few days, and I’m sure Dwalin will be there too. I’ll be back Friday night, and then Saturday we’ll go out to breakfast. Sound good?”

Kili crossed his arms and continued pouting, but finally relented. “Yeah… okay, I guess… but you have to promise you’ll be back _Friday night!_ ”

Thorin chuckled. “Of course. Friday night, I promise. Now go to sleep little one, you have a busy day ahead of you,” he kissed Kili’s head again, and let Kili kiss him back on the cheek.

“‘Kay… Good night Uncle,”

“Good night, Kili. I love you,” 

“Love you too, Uncle. Now go away I’m trying to sleep,”

 

\--

In the morning, Thorin got the boys fed and ready for school, but it wasn’t him who took them. He had to leave to the airport an hour before, and so had Balin come over and take care of the boys. After school he would pick them up and then bring them to his home where they’d stay for the next four days.

That afternoon, Dwalin had come over to visit. He helped Kili with his homework, and Balin helped Fili. Sitting at the kitchen counter, Balin stood over Fili’s shoulder, and was concerned about the trouble the boy was having with the words on his papers.

“Have you always had trouble reading, Fili?” he asked not unkindly. Fili nodded and sighed.

“Yes,” he said, “the letters are always jumbled and they change sometimes, and it gives me a headache. Is there something wrong with me?” he looked up at Balin with scared eyes, and Balin smiled back at him sadly.

“No, of course not. In fact, if I am right in what I think is going on, there is a very easy solution to help you out! We’d just have to take some time out of the day and help you essentially re-learn to read. It’s not so hard at all,” he rubbed Fili’s shoulder, who looked hopeful now.

 “Is it really so easy?” he questioned, eager. “Can we do it now? When can we do it?”

Balin chuckled, “Well, we’d just have to find someone who is specialised in helping others like you first. Have you told your uncle about your trouble?”

Fili’s excited smile dropped from his face almost instantly. “No. He won’t let me,”

Balin furrowed his brows in bafflement. “What do you mean he won’t--” he was interrupted when his brother and Kili ran into the room.

“Flea I am done now let’s play!” Kili shouted, running up and tugging lightly on Fili’s arm. Dwalin came up behind Kili and scooped him up and placed him on his shoulders.

“Not yet, little goblin. Fili still has a bit of work to do. When he finishes we’ll all have some ice cream though, sound good?” both the boys looked at each other, then nodded excitedly.

“Yes, yes yes! Ice cream is good, very yes!” Kili excitedly smacked his hands against Dwalin’s bald head, sending Fili into hearty laughter as Dwalin yelped and tried to get Kili to stop.

“Alright you, that’s enough of that. Fili, we’ll be outside waiting for you to come and play, ok? We’ll see you in a little bit,” he told the boy, ruffling his hair. Balin turned to Fili, who was trying to fix his hair, when they left.

“Fili, I’ve been meaning to talk to you, actually,” he said, growing a little concerned when a look of immense sadness and confusion filled the boy’s face. “about your phone call the other day.” Fili seemed to perk up at that.

“Yes?”

“How would you like to go find your brother some gifts today, after Kili’s been put down for a nap?”

Fili’s grin reached from ear to ear. “Yeah, that’d be really great! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I just have to… ohhhh!” he groaned and threw his face in his hands. “I left all my allowance at Thorin’s,” he despaired. Balin pat him on the back.

“Don’t worry about it, I will help you out. Now, let’s finish your homework so we can get you outside playing with your brother,”

 

\--

Fili and Balin got back from the shopping center in the early evening, Dwalin outside grilling burgers, and Kili still asleep. He was completely passed out on the couch, bundled up in a huge blanket and the television on the far wall was still on playing children’s shows.

Fili ran over and carefully picked him up (“I can do it by myself, _I’m his big brother_!”), carrying him to the guest room they shared. He ran back out to offer his help, declaring, “I am too old for naps, I’m not sleepy at all!”

“Well then if that’s the case, you can help me keep you busy while my brother here finishes making the pasta salad,” Dwalin told him, bringing in the finished burger patties on a plate.

“Huh?” Fili said intelligently, allowing himself to be ushered back outside by Dwalin, waving back at Balin in confusion. The second they were outside, Dwalin told Fili that he had better start running, because he’s only getting a five second head start.

“What, why?” Fili asked, worried.

“‘Cause kid, if I catch you, I am going to tickle you mercilessly.” Dwalin informed him, matter-of-factly. Fili’s eyes widened in horror, and he turned almost immediately to begin sprinting away.

Feeling benevolent that day, Dwalin decided to wait ten seconds before charging after him. Of course, catching Fili was extremely simple, and true to word, Dwalin tortured him with tickles for a few minutes. When Dwalin finally let him free, Fili scrambled up and ran to go get the semi-flat soccer ball. Slipping on the grass a little, he kicked it to Dwalin, and from then on until dinner was ready he and Dwalin kicked it back and forth to each other.

When Balin came out to announce that the meal was ready, Fili was laying on his stomach in the grass, panting heavily. A large smile was spread across his face, and he let his eyes close shut in his exhaustion. “Oh no you don’t,” Dwalin said, going over and swinging up Fili against his chest by his underarms. “If you’re going to pass out, kid, it’ll be in bed and _after_  dinner,”

Fili grumbled but sat up in Dwalin’s arms, letting himself be carried into the house and plopped down into a chair at the dining table. Across from him was Kili, who was already wide awake, and piling condiment after condiment onto his burger. Fili laughed at him.

“Kee, that’s so gross! Your buns will get all soggy, and… ugh!” he covered his eyes as Kili made a show of squishing his hamburger buns together with so much force, grease and mustard and ketchup all dripped onto his plate. He laughed at Fili, trying to find more and more ways to gross him out. Balin set down a big bowl of pasta salad and both he and Dwalin joined the boys at the table.

“Now, now, Kili. Wait for everyone to sit down first before you get your food,” Balin half-heartedly scolded.

“And when you do, don’t play with it, just eat it. That’s gross, kid,” Dwalin complained, looking away. Kili continued laughing, but set his burger down dutifully and let Balin put some pasta salad on his plate. Dwalin passed the plate of burgers to Fili after he grabbed his own, and couldn’t help but watch as Fili hesitated, then picked the smallest burger left.

“You not that hungry?” he asked, heaping a large spoonful of pasta salad on his plate and passing it to Fili. Everyone was looking at Fili now, and he turned red.

“I am!” he blurted out, “I just… don’t want to get too much. So I don’t waste it,” he explained.

“What! Fili, you don’t have to worry about that. Take as much as you want, kiddo,”

Balin smiled at him. “I’m sure he’s just saving room for chocolate cake, brother,” his smile grew wider when the boys gasped loudly. Kili began gulping down food until Dwalin stopped him, and Fili subtly picked up the pace of his food intake as well.

 

\--

The next three days went by in the blink of an eye, and were much the same as the first one. Early in the afternoon, Balin helped Fili wrap Kili’s gifts (“Dwalin will most certainly _not_  be coming near any of the wrapping paper or tape. He is not only hopeless, but is completely disastrous!”). In the evening, after dinner, both boys were allowed to wait up for Thorin to come to pick them up. Fili had spent the past three days thinking about how he could ask Balin if he could come live with him.

 He could give explanations as to why it’d be better, and that everyone would be happier from the situation, but then he’d look over at Kili, who was buzzing with excitement. He really didn’t want to leave Kili, and he was sure that Kili wouldn’t allow him to go. Fili sighed, and scooted closer to Kili on the couch. Kili welcomed the move and shifted to hug his brother, then leaned all his weight on Fili so that they would flop over and he could lay on top of him.

They both must have fallen asleep, for the next thing that Fili knew, he was being shaken awake by his uncle. Staring blearily up at him, Fili saw a still sleeping Kili cradled in Thorin’s arms. He sat up and rubbed at his eyes, yawning and sliding off the couch.

“Get up, we’re going home,” Thorin told him, grabbing his wrist and pulling him not unkindly to the door.

Dwalin appeared behind them, to see them out. “Hey, kiddo, I’ll be seeing you later, alright? I had lots of fun, and I hope you did too.” he crouched down and said to Fili. Fili, rubbing his eyes again, turned and waved weakly back at him.

Thorin stepped out the door and bid his own farewells. Fili seemed to become a bit more alert right then, and in a brief panic, turned back again and reached for Dwalin. “No, wait--” he tried to call out, but he cut himself off with a yawn.

When they got home, the boys were immediately put to bed. As Fili lay there alone in the dark, he could hear Thorin moving around, and some curious squeaking noises. They tapered out after a while, and it was only then that Fili drifted back off to sleep.

He was woken abruptly by someone calling his name, and he looked over to see that it was Kili. The little brunet was still laying down in bed, but he kept looking back and forth between Fili and his chest.

“ _Flea! Fle-a! Look-it! Look-it Flea!_ ” he hissed to him across the room. Placed on his chest was a small black ball of fluff, and it took a moment for Fili to realize what it was.

“ _Is that--?_ ”

“ _A kitty! Uncle got me a kitty!_ ” just then, the kitten woke up, stood up and stretched, all on Kili’s chest. The boys stared at each other with gaping mouths, and, not thinking, Kili abruptly sat up. The kitten leaped off his chest and onto the ground, and both the boys scrambled out of their beds to try and catch it.

The kitten scampered out of their room, and they followed closely behind it. “Kitty wait! Let me love you, kitty!” Kili wailed. He slid around the corner, and right into Thorin, causing Fili to crash into him.

“Uncle!” Kili shouted, watching the kitten scamper away behind Thorin and into his room. “Uncle you got me a kitty!” he jumped up and down until picked up, and buried his head in Thorin’s neck. “Thank you thank you thankyouthankyouthankyou!!”

Thorin rubbed his back. “Of course, Kili. I had a good think about it, and decided that maybe you are old enough. Cats mostly take care of themselves anyway,” he turned around towards the stairs, ignoring Fili completely. “Let’s go have breakfast, Kee, then we can open the rest of your presents,”

“There’s _more?!_ ” Kili screeched in glee. Thorin snorted and carried him down.

At the breakfast table, all three helped themselves to some homemade french toast, scrambled eggs and bacon. Fili had a little less food than Kili, and Thorin immediately took notice of this. He raised an eyebrow. “Is my cooking that bad? That you can only stand such a small amount?” he asked.

Fili was slow to glance up at him, but he was quick to look back at his plate. “No,” he murmered. “just not that hungry,”

Thorin gave a disapproving sigh, and the rest of breakfast was spent listening to Kili babble on about random things. The boys were made to clean up the dishes, while Thorin went upstairs and got the rest of Kili’s gifts. “Kee I’ll be right back okay? I have presents for you too,” Fili told him, scampering upstairs.

Right as he reached the top step, he bumped right into Thorin. “Fili. I thought I instructed you to help Kili with the dishes. Disobeying my orders now, are we?” he sneered.

Fili was filled with irritation. “No!” he demanded. “I have presents for Kili too. I am just getting them.”

Thorin clenched his jaw. “I had better not hear you use that tone of voice with me again,” he snapped, continuing on down the stairs. Fuming, Fili ran to his room and and dove under his bed, where he had hidden Kili’s gifts.

He crawled back out and ran back to the stairs, taking care not to drop anything. Halfway down, he began hearing very soft thuds from behind him, and when he glanced back he saw that it was the new kitten following him. He grinned.

“Ah! Hello kitty! Do you want to watch Kee open his presents too? Come on and follow me then!” he told it. Uplifted, Fili hopped down the last of the stairs, and skipped to the table. He placed the presents down, and climbed into his chair again. Looking down, he bent over and picked the kitten up, who had sat by his feet, and placed it too on the table.

Thorin shot him an incredulous look. “Don’t place the animal on the table!” he demanded, staring at Fili as if he was a complete idiot. Kili shouted out in glee and reached forward, bring the kitten to his lap.

“Pickles!” he grinned, petting it gratuitously.

“Pickles?” Thorin echoes.

“Yes, the kitty! It’s name is Pickles!”

This caused Thorin to smile. “Alright. An acceptable name. Pickles, you should know, is a girl,” he explained.

“Little girl cat! Meow meow meow, Pickles is a little gi-rl cat!” Kili sing-songed, reaching for one of his presents. “I’m gonna save Flea’s for last, ‘cause I like to save best for last!” he announced, grinning straight at his brother.

Fili’s heart soared as Kili ripped into the gift, finding two big coloring books and a big pack of coloured pencils. Kili shouted in celebration, startling Pickles and causing her to leap off and bounce away. “Oh goodbye Pickles! See you again soon, little girl cat!” he waved at her.

He placed his books and pencils next to him on the table, then reached for the second present. The paper never stood a chance, and it was shredded just as violently as the first. In it was a shoebox, which had a brand new pair of light up sneakers. Kili let out a truly incredible gasp of delight and was so excited he could only manage to elicit a low, “Ohhh ho ho hoho!” and he dropped to the floor to try on his new shoes.

Fili giggled at his antics and peaked underneath the table to watch him. He pulled them on over his filthy socks, then his hands fell the floor beside him with a thud. “I do not know how to do my shoes up!” he announced.

Fili was full out laughing now, and ignored Thorin when he told him how rude it was to laugh at his brother. Instead, he slid underneath the table with Kili, and crawled on his hands and knees over to him, tying his shoes for him.

From above them, they could hear Thorin emptying the contents of the last present, which were in a bag. “Now, this last one, I suppose, is more for the cat than anything. They are just supplies that will be needed for it, such as a food and water bowl, a pillow to sleep on, and a collar. Now that she has a name I can go and get an engraved name tag when I have the chance,” he called out.

“Okay! Can I open Flea’s presents now?” Kili asked, poking his head up. Thorin sighed.

“Well, yes, I suppose you must,” he said.

“Okay!” Kili jumped up, and took exaggerated and slow steps around the table so he could watch his shoes light up. Sitting in Fili’s chair now, Kili kicked his legs excitedly as he grabbed the first of two presents. Fili climbed back up and into Kili’s chair, just in time to see him rip into it. Out dropped a basket that Fili didn’t recognize at all, and it was filled with plenty of toys for Pickles.

Kili grinned for the umpteenth time that day, “You got toys for Pickles! Now she’ll have extra fun with us!” he shouted.

“... I guess I did!” Fili said, puzzled. He realized that Balin must have secretly made the purchase, and must have known that Thorin was going to get Kili a kitten, and he internally thanked him for it.

His second gift got just as much celebration, for it was a collection of shark-themed items. Water pistols, a pair of sunglasses, a few t-shirts and a shark tooth necklace. “Cool!! So cool!” he screamed, and started pulling on all three shirts and the necklace. “Ugh. Too hot,” was his instant reaction, and he pulled off all the shirts he was wearing, only to replace it with one of this new ones. He looked at Fili across from him. “I’ll keep changing into the rest of them later, promise!” he told him.

Fili laughed and shook his head. “You don’t have to do that. Do you like them?”

“Are you _kidding??_  Of course I do! I love them all, almost as much as I love you!! And I love you the most! I love you, and then Pickles, and then this stuff! Oh no wait, I love Uncle too. So, so, I love _you_ , then Uncle, then Pickles, and _then_  this stuff!”

 

* * *

 

 

Yay (mostly) happy chapter! And it's long as hell yaaaaay! It took me forever because I was just having issues with motivation and focus but I managed it woo! 

Ok so I added a new tag, depression. Shouldn't be too surprising to most of you. For that I'm basically just going to have Fili go through the same exact stuff I did when I was severely depressed, excluding suicidal thoughts. There are lines I will cross, but small children + suicide is **most definitely** **not** something I will ever do.

Also, idk if any of you noticed, and though I don't want to tell you guys, I REALLY DO WANT TO TELL YOU because I think myself clever and I ride a high horse when it comes to being subtle and symbolic (only the subtlety applies here though) lmao  
anyway, so, whenever Kili is happy and feeling positive, he calls Fili Flea. When he's upset at something/someone that's not Fili, it's Fee. If he's angry or scared/terrified whatever, it's Fili. There's another subtle thing I changed but I'm not gonna say >:P

  



	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dreaded parent teacher conference

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said 'yeah updates will be sparse' and then I uploaded two chapters a day for three days straight? I do. Ha  
> ha  
> ah  
> ha  
> ha

**_Saturday, October 4th_ **

“Starting Monday, I will not be able to pick you two up from school,” Thorin told the boys later in the day. They stopped eating the birthday cake and ice cream and stared up at him in confusion.

“My work schedule has changed permanently. I am to go in later, and therefore stay later. It has been decided…” his voice faded off as he paused to take a bite of thick chocolate cake. “It has been decided that you will both go to Balin’s after school, until I get home and can pick you up. Balin lives close enough that you can walk, and be there within ten minutes after your classes end,”

Kili made a series of affirming noises as Thorin spoke, his mouth continuously full of ice cream. “Uh-huh okay.” he nodded vigorously, melted ice cream leaking out of his mouth and down his chin. Thorin decided that wasn’t a mess he really wanted to deal with right at that moment, so instead he turned to Fili.

“You. I am having that conference with your teacher on Monday also. It will be right after your classes end, so I will be bringing you home. Wait for me outside your classroom.” he explained. When Fili didn’t answer him, he asked, “Do I make myself clear? I have to leave work early on the first day of my promotion to go talk to your teacher. If you aren’t there when I arrive, there will be a severe punishment.”

Fili glanced up at him and made a noise of acknowledgment, looking back down to his plate where he stirred his puddle of melted ice cream and cake crumbs with his fork. _Insolent child!_ Thorin thought scathingly.

\--

**_Monday, October 20th_ **

Thorin stepped out of his car and closed its door, the noise drowned out by the hustle and bustle of parents picking up their children, vehicles honking at each other and the loud buses. Not wanting to get caught up in the rush (and slightly afraid that if he tried, he’d be sucked into the void, never to return), he took the time to pull out a cigarette and light it up. It was the last one in his pack, he noticed sadly, ignoring the nasty looks other parents sent his way.

Things finally quieted down after a handful of minutes, and Thorin flicked the butt of his cigarette to the pavement, grinding it out with the heel of his shoe. Pushing away from his car, he walked up to the main building, heading directly for the mini map that had been framed onto the side of the wall. He found Fili’s room number in seconds flat, and tried to memorize the route so he wouldn’t (not that he has issues with that sort of thing!) get lost.

He startled a bit when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. Turning, he saw that it was a woman a good head shorter than himself. She cleared her throat, distracting Thorin from staring at her and her wavy brown hair, pulled up into a bun, and making him blush. “Hello there. A bit lost?” she asked him, smiling.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Thorin smiled back sheepishly. “A bit,” he told her, “I have a conference in room 312… this map is a bit confusing,” he admitted. The woman grinned at him, and began walking off.

“Follow me then, we’ll get you sorted out. The name’s Bella, by the way. Who do you belong to?”

“Oh! Miss Baggins? You are Kili’s teacher, correct?” Thorin blurted without thinking, rushing to follow her. She laughed.

“Yes, little Kili! You must be Mr. Oakenshield. Little Kili is the happiest little boy I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. He does have a little bit of trouble sitting still though. It’s common in boys his age though, so nothing to worry about,” she lightly tugged on Thorin’s arm when she turned a corner, and he kept walking straight.

“I hear a lot about his older brother from Kili. They must both do you proud,”

Thorin grimaced. “Kili does, I can say with full sincerity. Fili though… it is quite the opposite with him. He is quite the troublemaker, you see. He is why I am here, actually. I am to have a conference with his teacher. He is disrespectful, his grades are pitiful, he talks back, and he is quite lazy… among several other issues,” he sighed, exasperated.

“Oh, I am quite sorry to hear that,” Bella frowned. “Do you have any idea what may be the cause of such behavior?” they turned another corner, and Thorin did a doubletake at a particular trophy case. Didn’t they pass that already?

“I think I do know the exact reason, in fact. You see, Fili and Kili… they have different fathers. Fili’s father is… well. He’s in prison, now. And he will be, for a long, long time. My family has always been a firm believer in ‘the fruit never falls far from the tree’, and Fili is not doing himself any favors in contradicting that,” Thorin shook his head in irritation.

Bella looked scandalized. “I… that is quite a brutal way of thinking, if I may say! He is only a child, I am sure it is something he will grow out of!”

Thorin nodded. “And he will, in time. I keep him in line with the proper consequences for his actions. … I’m sorry, but are you sure you know where we’re going? I am already late for this conference, and it seems like we’ve been walking for quite some time,”

Bella blushed, and turned them down one last corridor. “Yes, my apologies. I may have accidentally turned us onto a detour on the way, but here we are. Look, there’s Fili right there!” she gestured to the blond boy, who was leaning with the back against the wall, his hands clasped on his front. “Now I must go, I have papers to grade. It was nice meeting you, Mr. Oakenshield. Maybe I will see you again?” she waved to him, then spun on her heel and left.

Thorin stared after her until she disappeared around a corner. Finally he turned back to where Fili stood, and walked to the door. He almost payed Fili no mind, but hesitated and turned to him. “Don’t wander off.” he spoke lowly, engaging in a short staring contest with the boy. Just looking at him irked Thorin, so he opened the classroom door and walked right in.

“Afternoon. You must be Mr. Oakenshield,” the man sitting behind the desk stood and walked over to shake Thorin’s hand. Thorin nodded, and smiled.

“And you Mr. Bowman. It’s a pleasure,” he replied. The men shook hands then walked back to Mr. Bowman’s desk to sit down. After a moment of silence, Mr. Bowman finally got down to business.

“I wanted to talk to you about Fili today, about his struggles when it comes to basic reading. He is an excellent student otherwise, don’t get me wrong! It’s just… well, the evidence I’ve seen so far this year very strongly suggests that he has dyslexia,” he lamented. “Have you heard of it?”

“I’ve not.” Thorin shook his head.

“It’s a reading disorder. To sum it up, while you and I see the written word as it should,” Mr. Bowman took a slip of paper and a pen from the cup on his desk. On it, he wrote a simple sentence, ‘big red cat’. He glanced up at Thorin, who nodded in affirmation that he understood. He looked back down to the paper and rewrote the sentence, except this time he warped most of the letters into being backwards, or upside down.

“I have no doubt that this is what Fili is seeing when he tries to read.” seeing Thorin’s confused expression, he continued before he could interrupt. “It is an uncommon disorder, though not so that there isn’t enough known about it. There are ways to cure it, and the easiest is to find a specialized tutor the help him through it.”

Thorin stared at the slip of paper for a few moments, then looked back up to Mr. Bowman and nodded. “I see. Are there any other problems you’ve been having with him?” he asked.

Mr. Bowman smiled at this. “None at all! He is a brilliant and kind child, and in fact…” he scooted back in his chair to pull out one of the drawers in his desk, and shuffled through some things for a moment. Finally he pulled out a folder and placed it on the desk. He opened it and pulled out a handful of papers, most of them math or geography sheets. “He is the top student in his year for math, and he really enjoys geography. I suspect that both of those subjects using mostly pictures instead of words has a part in that, but he is truly a brilliant kid,”

He put the papers back into the folder and slid it over to Thorin to take with him. “Thank you. I’m afraid I must go now, but thank you for taking time out of your day for this meeting,” he stood and shook Mr. Bowman’s hand and picked up the folder. Bidding him farewell and getting one in return, he walked out.

Fili was gone. Thorin could have laughed. Of course he was gone, what did he expect? Checking his wristwatch, he crossed his arms and stood there waiting. A few minutes later, Fili turned the corner in front of Thorin and started walking towards him. Seeing Thorin, he stopped dead in his tracks for a few seconds before hesitating and continuing on, much slower this time.

Thorin didn’t even say anything when Fili reached him. The boy stood awkwardly a foot away from him, staring at the ground and playing with the straps on his backpack. “I had to go to the bathroom,” he finally muttered, “sorry.”

Thorin rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Let’s go. Show me the way out,” he followed behind Fili as he obediently followed orders. The car ride to Balin’s was, though extremely tense, thankfully short. Kili flew out the front door screeching inhumanely, Balin trailing behind him at a much slower and quieter pace.

Kili scrambled into the back seat next to Fili, slamming the door shut while Thorin chatted to Balin from inside the vehicle, and rested his arm on the window. “Hello Fili I am good thanks!” Kili shouted, launching himself at Fili and hugging him tightly. Fili grunted.

“Hello brother. I am glad you are good,” he pat Kili’s back and pushed him back up. “You gotta buckle up Kee, don’t want you getting hurt,”

Kili gave him a bewildered look. “But I’ll never get hurt when you’re around Flea.” he stated. “But I’ll buckle up for extra protection though anyway, just in case. And ‘cause Uncle will tan my hide too.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so bad because my horrible lack of focus and procrastination charged at me and kicked me up the ass the second I got home from house sitting ugh. There's even more I wanted to add to this chapter but I really wanted to get something out for you all. Also, yes, Fili's teacher is Bard because you (yes you) asked for it :P and yes, Fem!Bilbo is Kili's teacher. AND YES Bella totally was sort of trying to get to know Thorin/flirt with him by intentionally getting them off course :9  
> Aaah there's so much I want to say but then there'll be more notes than chapter! oAo


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys your super nice comments give me life ♥

**_Saturday, October 18th_ **

One day, two weeks after Thorin’s schedule change, Fili was late in coming home. He was _very_ late. While the sun was still up, it would begin to set within the hour. Kili had gotten to Balin’s on time that day, but Thorin received a worried call from his dear friend a half hour after Fili should have arrived, telling him that Fili was nowhere to be found. Thorin had sighed and told Balin to call him back if he still didn’t show after another hour.

That had been two hours ago, and finally he spotted Fili walking down the sidewalk. Thorin was glad, if only because Kili was in near hysterics over his missing brother. Peculiarly enough, he was being led by a boy a fair bit taller than him. He pointing at the home with one hand, holding on to the mysterious boy's with the other. Thorin sat watching this from his bedroom window on the second floor, which had been open to let in the fresh air.

"This is it?" He heard the older boy ask.

"Yes," Fili responded quietly. They stood hand in hand at the end of the walkway leading up to the front door for a few moments, before the other boy looked down at Fili.

"Aren't you going to go in?" He asked. Fili didn't answer straight away, and when he did it was with a question of his own. He looked up at his friend and squinted, the bright sun making it hard to see him.

"Can I come stay with you instead?" It seemed innocent enough, but Fili's companion became flustered immediately.

"What?? O-oh, I don't think--"

"Ok, that's ok. Thank you for bringing me back, Ori," Fili pulled his hand from Ori's and waved goodbye.

"U-um! Yes, of course! It was no real problem, Fili! Maybe I will see you tomorrow," he said, waving to him before turning and walking back the way they came. Fili didn't move for another several moments, just staring at the front door. He was completely unaware of Thorin's presence many feet above him, and nearly flew sky high when Thorin called out to him, he was startled so badly.

"You have homework you should be doing, have you not?" Thorin asked. Fili only gasped loudly, and hurried inside, accidentally slamming the door shut behind him. He didn’t get a chance to even take his backpack off before Kili charged down the stairs as fast as his feet could carry, slamming straight into Fili at full force. Fili yelped as they subsequently crashed to the floor, cracking the back of his head on the ground and leaving him seeing stars.

On top of him, Kili was bawling loudly, babbling about how scared he was that he thought Fili was going get lost, and how he had gotten lost before and it was the absolute worst _ever!_  He leaned forward and began sobbing into Fili’s chest.

“Kili, get off him. Fili and I need to have a discussion. Go watch your shows,” Fili heard Thorin say from the top of the stairs. Reluctantly, Kili sat up and wiped at his snotty face. He mumbled an affirmative to Thorin and climbed off his brother, but not before giving him one last tight hug.

Fili laid there for another moment after he left, trying to make the world stop spinning. He sat up when the world righted itself, and looked up at Thorin who was watching him expectantly. When he noticed he had Fili’s attention, he curtly beckoned him up to where he stood.

“You and I need to have a talk.” he stated.

Fili sighed and stood up slowly, climbing up the stairs after Thorin. The man led them to his room, and over to his desk. Thorin sat down, leaving Fili to stand a few feet away awkwardly.

“Where the hell were you!” Thorin snapped. “You were to be at Balin’s by three p.m. What gave you the idea that you could just do as you please, without a single word to anyone? And coming home with a complete stranger? Incredible.” he glared sharply at Fili, who seemed very interested with the straps of his backpack.

“Look at me when I’m speaking to you.” he added, waiting for Fili to comply before continuing, “That was irresponsible and <i>stupid</i>, and I fail to comprehend how you could go about doing something so asinine! Look at how you made Kili react! He was near inconsolable.”

When Fili had resumed looking away from him and didn’t say anything in his own defense, Thorin scoffed and turned in his chair, facing back towards his desk. “Go to your room. I don’t want to see nor hear you for the rest of the night.” he ordered.

 

\--

 

The next day things went back to normal. Both Fili and Kili were at Balin’s by the time Thorin arrived, and Thorin wasn’t notified of anyone being too late. He got the boys in the car, he drove them home, and they obediently went off and did their homework, giving Thorin peace and quiet for a few blessed hours.

When Thorin began cooking dinner that evening, Kili wandered down into the kitchen with his uncle, having followed his nose. His hair was a bird’s nest, his lips were sleep swollen and he was rubbing his eyes with his fists. Thorin smiled at him as he yawned, and it grew wider when Kili shuffled up to him in his socks, hugging his leg and hiding his face in Thorin’s thigh.

“Have a nice nap, little one?” Thorin smirked. Kili nodded and yawned into his leg, clutching at Thorin’s pants.

“When we gon’ eat?” Kili drowsily asked, his voice muffled by Thorin’s leg.

“Not for a while yet, I just started cooking. Why don’t you go watch television while you wait?” Thorin offered. Kili just whined, pouted, and stomped his feet.

“But _Uncle!_ I am _so,_  sososo _hu-ngry!!_ ” he moaned. Thorin sighed and pet Kili’s head. He reached over to the package of bread on the counter next to him, and quickly opened it and reached in for a slice.

“Here, have a slice of bread, you bottomless pit. I’ll finish as quickly as possible, okay? Now go watch your shows,” he nudged Kili away from him and in the direction of the other room. Kili drug his dirty sock-clad feet out of the kitchen, munching lazily on his bread as he went. Thorin smiled after him and re-closed the bread halfheartedly, not bothering to use the twist tie.

 

\--

 

Thorin walked out of the kitchen with the two big bowls of food he had prepared, and went across the hall to the dining room. He passed Kili on the way, who followed him excitedly.

“Kili, go grab the bread and butter for me back in the kitchen, would you?” Thorin asked him.

“Sir, yes sir!” Kili shouted, screeching to a halt and sprinting back in the opposite direction. Thorin placed the food on the small dining table and went back to grab silverware. As Kili passed him again, he looked around a bit for any sign of Fili.

“Kili, go get your brother and tell him to get down here. I’m just as hungry as you are and I am not going to be waiting for him.”

“Okay! Be right back Uncle!” Kili tossed the bag of bread onto the table uncaring, but placed the plate of butter and the accompanying knife down a bit more gently. He zoomed back out of the dining room, and Thorin could hear him thundering up the stairs.

After a couple of minutes, the thundering came back as Kili returned by himself. “He says he’s not hungry,” he informed Thorin.

Thorin raised one of his eyebrows. “What is he doing that is so important to make him not hungry?”

Kili shrugged in the midst of piling a mound of spaghetti on his plate. “He’s just lyin’ on his bed, staring at the wall. I asked him if he was okay and he said he was fine, and that I should just come back down and eat! So I did.”

Thorin was slightly taken aback at this. But his mild shock was almost immediately replaced by irritation. “Well if that’s how he’s going to act, then so be it. He had better not come complaining to me in the middle of the night when he’s starving,” he said, bitter.

After Thorin and his littlest nephew finished their meal, Thorin shooed Kili off to the other room with a cookie in his hand, while he cleaned the dishes. He had just finished putting the leftover salad in the refrigerator and had stood back up to wash his hands when he spotted Fili standing in the doorway, his hands behind his back.

“If you’re hungry, you’re too late. I just put everything away. I’ll not have you feeling entitled and thinking you can just eat what you want, whenever you want,” he dictated, leaning back against the counter and crossing his arms. It had not escaped his notice the little smudge of chocolate at the corner of Fili’s mouth, indicating that Kili had either given him his entire cookie, or at least half of it.

Fili shook his head. “No, ‘m not really hungry,” he mumbled, shrugging.

“What have you got behind your back?” Thorin asked, ignoring Fili’s statement. Fili slowly approached him, then held out his hand, revealing a bright teal paper.

“Is this another book report? I thought I told you last time to not bother wasting my time. I don’t own a personal library for no reason.”

Fili shook his head and waited patiently for Thorin to finish. “No, it’s a permission slip,” he told him. Intrigued, Thorin took the paper and quickly skimmed through its contents.

“A field trip? That sounds nice, and a trip to the natural history museum no less,” he mumbled nonchalantly. Thorin pushed himself off the counter, and crossed the room to the kitchen drawers where all the miscellaneous items he didn’t know what to do with belonged. After searching a few of them for a few moments, he finally found what he was looking for. He returned to Fili and handed him the new slip of paper he grabbed. Fili stared at it in confusion, his brows furrowed intensely.

“My progress report?” he asked quietly.

“Your teacher told me you couldn’t read?” Thorin snorted in disbelief, but he waved it away. He didn’t let Fili get a word in, “This, paired with that disappearing stunt you pulled yesterday, and you want me to allow you to go on a school trip? Absolutely not.” he shook his head and grabbed the progress report back out of Fili’s hands, planning to properly file it away this time.

 

* * *

 

 **AN**  
I realized a couple of days ago that I totally already made an inconsistency in the first and second chapters, of course. I also plan to go back and just revamp the entire story so far because I'm a bit unhappy with how... basic and... not good it is. Oh! Also, [house](http://imgur.com/a/ppMtD#23). Basically. It's the gist of it. Thorin tried to sleep in Kili's bed at some point, _then left his laundry there_. If ever I'm taking too long to upload a chapter,[ poke and prod](http://archiveofourown.org/works/pointyeared-dumbass-lindir.tumblr.com/ask) at me until I do something productive.

  



	9. Chapter 9

**_Saturday, October 25th_ **

Saturday was a surprisingly nice day, with the sun high in the sky and a slow breeze flowing through the air. It was a welcome change from the typical brisk fall weather. Thorin had enlisted the boys into doing household chores with him that morning. He took charge in sweeping, mopping, and dusting all about the house in his fashionable cut-off jean shorts and tattered paint splattered T-shirt. Fili and Kili were tag-teaming it in the kitchen, cleaning leftover dishes from the previous night, and some old and dusty unused ones that always sat in the top shelves.

Music wafted from the speakers littered throughout the home, and the windows and front door were open, allowing the fresh air to vent through. Thorin could hear the boys talking and giggling together, the dishes clinking together loudly every now and then, and it made him smile. Today was definitely a good day.

Wiping the sweat from his brow, Thorin got to his feet from where he was on his hands and knees, scrubbing at a suspicious stain on the floor. He threw his dirty rag over his shoulder and ambled into the kitchen, where the boys were covered in suds and flicking water at each other.

“Hey, come on. The more messes you make, the longer it will be until we can go out and get ice cream,” he told them, his gentle smile growing much wider at Kili’s loud gasp. He turned his head sharply, causing his hair to whip him in the face.

“Really?! We haven’t gotten ice cream in forever!” he cheered. Thorin snorted and walked over, ruffling his hair.

“Chill. We just got some a few days ago,” he reminded Kili, tugging on his ears playfully. After several seconds of Kili whining and trying to free himself, he succeeded after slapping his soapy hands onto Thorin’s and rubbing the soap all up and down his forearms. “Okay, okay, you win.” Thorin snorted. He quickly rinsed his arms off and dried them, then plucked a freshly dried cup out of Fili’s hands.

He brusquely pat him on the head as he walked past, filling the cup with ice from the freezer and sweetened tea from the fridge. Pickles pattered in then, mewing pitifully and sniffing around the air for food. “Kili, have you fed your kitten today?” Thorin asked.

“Oh no! I’ll do it, I’ll do it now!” Kili gasped, flinging his hands out of the sink, causing water and soap suds to fly everywhere. He turned to hop off his step stool, but Fili stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

“No Kee, you’ll get the cat wet and she won’t like that. I’ll do it,” he told Kili, placing his dish towel onto the counter next to him. Thorin stood by watching silently, leaning on one arm against the counter, as Fili glided over to the pantry.

He opened it and pulled out the giant bag of dry cat food, grabbing the cup that was in it and scooping out some of the kibble. Pickles was created a cacophony of noise with her little broken meows and getting tangled in his legs as he tried to scoot over to the food bowl. After he finally managed to get the bowl filled, Pickles ditched him entirely and began chomping on food right away. Fili crouched down and stroked her fur for a second, before going back over to the giant food bag.

He struggled to pick it up, but managed to get it back into the pantry within a few intricate maneuvers. “Wait, what was that? Is that a bruise?” Thorin started, striding over to Fili. He forcefully grabbed Fili’s elbow in a firm grip, and shoved the sleeve of his shirt up to his shoulder. An ugly bruise marred Fili’s bicep. “What the hell is this? Are you starting fights?” Thorin interrogated.

Kili exclaimed loudly, and ran over to his brother. “You’re hurt?!” he yelped, tugging his arm free from Thorin and hugging him tightly. “Are you fighting??” Kili whispered despairingly. Fili shook his head frantically.

“No, it’s nothing like that!” he pleaded. Thorin just sighed through his nose and shook his head, lips pursed. Fili made a noise of frustration, and left the room quickly. Kili went after him, being followed not long after by Pickles. In disbelief, Thorin ran a hand through his hair. He walked over to one of the cabinets the boys wouldn’t be able to reach even on a stool, and grabbed the pack of cigarettes that lay plainly in sight on the middle shelf.

After years of being addicted to the tobacco, Thorin had finally managed to kick the habit after his first year of his career. Ever since he was burdened with the boys though, his stress levels shot through the roof. He couldn’t help but fall off the wagon and go back into old habits.

 

\--

“Boys! Get ready, we’re going out!” Thorin called out at the base of the stairs. It was later in the evening now, and the sun was just starting to set. When he received no answer after a few moments, Thorin walked upstairs and into the boys’ room. He wasn’t too surprised to see them not there, and went back out to climb further up into the home. The floor above that was Thorin’s entertainment lounge, where he, Dwalin, and the rest of his ‘crew’ screamed and shouted at any sports matches that played on the unbelievably large television.

A short climb higher led straight to the top floor, which was the designated play room for the boys. They had a small amount of space to play in their room, but the top floor was where they could go to play with blocks, or wrestle, or create a huge track for their race cars. That was right where Thorin found them. Kili was sitting with his chin resting on one knee, and he was mumbling to himself as he played with a large pile of Legos. Fili was a short distance away, lying on his stomach and drawing with crayons. In the middle of his back was Pickles. The tiny black kitten was curled up into a little roll and purring contentedly.

“Hey,” Thorin called out gently, knocking on the wall. They looked up at him, waiting. “Get ready, we’re going out to eat,” he told them. The boys scrambled to their feet, Pickles bouncing away irritably.

“Where are we going Uncle?” Kili asked him, hanging behind when Fili continued on without them.

“I’ve decided that instead of making something tonight, we’ll go out. Go put your shoes and socks on, I will wait for you in the car,”

\--

“Uncle! This isn’t-- this is! Uncle, really?!”

The vehicle pulled up into the packed parking lot, and Thorin ignored Kili until he finally found a spot to park in. After turning off the engine, he put his arm on the back of the passenger seat and turned to look at the boys. “Well, it will be Halloween very soon now won’t it? Can’t have you going trick or treating without costumes. Come on, let’s go,”

He got out of the car and helped Kili out of his booster seat, and led the boys into the costume shop. Predictably, it was extremely busy, with several families of varying sizes bustling about. Of the time spent in there, Thorin spent a sizeable percentage of it wishing he had a child harness for Kili. Several times he almost lost the boy, who was in such awe at everything. He and Fili gaped at all the scary decorations, and any other ones they came across. When he finally reined them in and and made them get down to business, they had amassed much sundry.

Both of them had at least three leis, and Kili a matching straw hat. He had on cowboy boots and a gunslinger’s belt. Fili was wearing pirate garb, including a hat, a plastic cutlass and an eyepatch. Thorin’s eyebrows rose. “Are these the costumes you plan on going out in?” he asked.

“No!” Kili shouted. “These are just fun! Can we have these too?” he pleaded, staring up at his Uncle with doe eyes. After quick consideration, Thorin crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I suppose. But don’t expect to be getting any extra treats when we go to the market next time around,” he relented. Kili cheered, and Fili gave a small smile. “Alright, now let’s go properly look at costumes before they’ve all gone,” he herded them off towards the childrens section, weaving through the throng of families.

\--

Thorin sat at a small booth in his favourite local diner, his face completely hidden behind a tall menu. Across from him sat Xena: Warrior Princess, and a Roman gladiator wearing an eyepatch, both reading from children’s menus.

He had tried to convince both of them to wait to wear their costumes until Halloween, but they could not be persuaded. He had tried even harder to convince Kili to choose a _boy’s_ costume, shooting down Kili’s reasoning of _but it’s so cool!_ instantly. But then Fili stepped up between them, puffed up his chest and told Thorin point blank, “ _No!_ ”

Thorin didn't say anything to Fili, but he pointed a finger at him in warning, effectively silencing the boy.

So now, there they sat. Two warriors and a middle-aged man, in the back corner of a diner. The waitress walked up and greeted them merrily, asking if they were ready to order. Thorin looked to the boys. “Have you both decided what you want yet?” he asked.

“Yes,” they drawled.

“I want the chicken nuggets and pudding!” Kili announced. He turned to his brother and shook his arm. “What’re you gonna get Flea?”

Fili shrugged minutely and glanced back down at the menu. “I’d like the spaghetti please, with carrots as a side?”

Thorin reached over and grabbed Fili’s menu and frowned. “No, too expensive. I don’t have that much left on me. Had you not insisted on the extra costume accessories…” he read through the menu briefly then looked backed to the waitress. “He’ll take the same as Xena here,”

The waitress giggled looking at Kili, and Fili tugged lightly on her dress. “Um, can I have carrots instead of pudding please?” he asked. The waitress smiled and ruffled Fili’s hair.

“Of course, sweetheart,” she scribbled a note down on her pad and walked off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehhh I meant to get this up like a couple of days ago, but... I've had a pretty shitty week and so I've been feeling rather miserable tbh, sorry :/
> 
> oh I added dates to the chapters to hopefully remove a bit of confusion, and sorry if this chapter is too nice for your tastes :P


	10. Chapter 10

**_Friday, October 31st_ **

For the past five days, Kili had stubbornly refused to dress in anything other than his costume. The only reason Thorin ended up relenting was that Kili would put his regular clothes on over it. Then, when he got home from school, he would strip them off and flaunt around happily throwing his ‘chakrams’ (truly, they were just frisbees). Fili, just as excited as his little brother, had worn his costume the next day, and had tried to do the same the day after. Thorin put a stop to that immediately, warning Fili that if he dared to wear his costume again before Halloween, he wouldn’t be going trick-or-treating at all.

The day of Halloween, after school, Kili spent the hours leading up to sundown standing in the same designated spots, without making a sound. Well, he would stand as still as he could for about fifteen minutes, then sit on the ground for five, before standing back up. Every time Thorin would happen to walk by him, he’d be a large portion closer to the front door. Eventually, by the time the sun was just about disappeared completely, Kili was standing outside one of the front windows, staring at Thorin pleadingly. He rolled his eyes, and beckoned him back inside.

“All right. Go grab your bucket, and we’ll get going,” he pat Kili on the back, and left to go find a flashlight. He walked out into the backyard to get to the laundry room, and he happened to notice Fili’s silhouette sitting on one of the swings.

Thorin went into the laundry room and grabbed one of his flashlights off the shelf above the washer. He walked back out and clicked it on, shining it over on Fili.

“Hey,” he called out, waiting for Fili to look up at him. “We’re leaving. Stop lagging behind, if you’re coming. We’re not waiting for you.” He turned to go back in, but stopped and flashed the beam of light back on Fili, focusing on the sizeable bruise that marred his small chest. It was on the section revealed by his costume, a toga. Pickles was laying on his lap, purring contentedly. “And stop picking fights, especially if you keep losing. It’s embarrassing and reflects badly on me.”

\--

Thorin led Fili and Kili out front, making sure to keep Kili in his sight as they were surrounded by a multitude of parents and children. He grabbed Kili’s hand and kept him close. When Fili was jostled roughly by a small family, he reached out to grab Thorin’s hand too. Thorin would have none of it, and he yanked his hand away before Fili could reach it.

“You are too old to be holding hands,” Thorin snapped. They walked up to the first neighbor’s house and waited patiently behind another family. When it was their turn, Kili bounced forward with his bucket held out.

“Trick or treat trick or treat trick or treat!” he shouted, hopping in place. The couple at the door, obviously young and newly-married, cooed at the boys.

“ _Oh! So cute!_ And what do we have here?” the woman asked. Kili roared and flexed his nearly non-existent muscles.

“I am a super awesome cool warrior!” he declared, waving his bucket around. The young wife giggled and gave Kili a small handful of candy. Her husband turned to Fili, who smiled back and began explaining his costume when prompted.

“I am Gaius… Julius… I’m Caligula! He was a Roman emperor and was really crazy! He--”

“Fili. We don’t have all night.” Thorin interjected. Dropping his head and frowning, Fili apologized quietly to the couple and held out his own bucket. The young couple assured Fili that it was perfectly fine and bid them all a good night.

Thorin thanked them and steered the boys away to the next few homes, Fili doing all the quiet thanking after Kili screamed ‘Trick or Treat!’ for them both. When they reached one of the last houses on the block, they happened to bump into a red headed girl wearing the same costume as Kili. Kili’s initial reaction was one of confusion, but it swiftly turned into euphoria. The two of them became instantaneous friends and got their picture taken together, but Thorin had to eventually pull them away from each other.

“Come on, scamp. It is getting late, we will have to go home soon,” he explained. A loud whine escaped from Kili, and Thorin gave an exaggerated look of contemplation. “Well. I suppose we have time for another street. But just the one side, mind you,” he looked seriously into Kili’s eyes until the boy finally agreed.

“Okay,” he sighed, “but we have to get the ones at the end of the road too!”

\--

_**Monday, November 3rd** _

Thorin slowly opened his eyes, and immediately regretted it. He squeezed them shut tight and buried his head further into his pillow. _No. Not today._ Not ever, preferably. _Thorin Oakenshield does not get sick._ Thorin could count the number of times he had been sick in his life on both his hands, there was no way in hell he could be sick now! … On a school day, too. _And_ both Balin and Dwalin were out of town, for some distant relative’s funeral. He was responsible for bringing the children home today, which he would do. After bringing them school. Which he would also do. … After he managed to get out of bed.

-

Fili sat up on his elbows and rubbed at his eyes, glancing around dazedly. While absentmindedly petting a balled up Pickles on his stomach he read the wall clock. It read as 7:45 AM. Fili’s eyes widened and he leapt out of bed, but not before picking Pickles up and setting her in a safe spot. He sprinted to Kili and shook him vigorously to wake him.

“Kili, up! We’re late! Thorin didn’t wake us, we have to go!” he panicked, stumbling over to Kili’s dresser to find clothes for him. He tossed them onto Kili when he sat up, the most grouchy he would ever be during the day. His jeans landed on his face, making Kili sputter and flail. By the time he had finished yanking on his socks, Fili was already dressed and ready to go.

Fili shoved Kili’s backpack into his brother’s arms, but seeing him still despondent, he switched his bag to his stomach and ushered Kili onto his back. He carried Kili downstairs and brought him to the kitchen, where he deposited him gently onto a chair. “Stay here, I’ll get your shoes,” he mumbled to Kili.

He sped out of the kitchen, taking the time to make sure Thorin was nowhere to be seen, then went and collected Kili’s shoes. Coming back out of their room, he glanced down at Thorin’s bedroom door. There was no sign that the man had even gotten up. When he rejoined Kili in the kitchen, Kili had gotten up and attempted to pour himself a cup of orange juice. There was more juice on the counter than there was in his glass. Fili sighed inwardly and made a mental note to clean it up.

“Drink up fast Kee, we--” he was startled by the toaster, as whatever Kili had shoved in there popped up. “we have to go,” he finished lamely, watching Kili shove the chair he was sat on to the counter by its seat. He cringed at the awful noise it made. Kili stood on the chair and grabbed the items from the toaster, yelping and dropping them instantly from their heat. Fili rolled his eyes.

“I’ll wait for you by the door. Make sure to put the chair back!” he left the room and stopped by the stairs.

Kili pranced over to him, holding his toaster prizes in paper towels, one in each hand. He handed one of them to his older brother. “I made us breakfast!” he grinned. Fili’s smile sparkled in his eyes, and he thanked Kili before nudging him back to the kitchen.

“You forgot your backpack,” he said. Kili gave an over-dramatic sigh and ran back. A muted thudding sound made Fili look up, and was mildly surprised to see a completely disheveled Thorin walking down the steps towards him.

His short hair was pointing in all directions, especially up and to the right. He was wearing an old, ratty, grey shirt, freshly pressed boxers and gross old socks. Most of all, Fili noticed, he was pale, had bags under his eyes, and looked like he was suffering. When he reached the bottom of the stairs he shoved past Fili without acknowledgment. He grabbed his car keys from the little dish on the hall end table and craned his neck to look into the kitchen.

“ _Kili!_ Get your butt out here and let’s go,” he yelled out, barely reacting when Kili sped over and crashed into his side, clutching on. Grumbling, he ushered the boys out to the car, and drove them to school. He told them that he would be picking them both up today, and left them to rush to their classes.

\--

Fili sighed and ambled out of his classroom, making sure to check every direction and over his shoulder before he got far. He walked quickly through the large crowds of other students and finally made it to the spot where Thorin had told him to be. He hadn’t been standing there for more than ten minutes when he felt two sharp tugs on his shirt.

Looking down, Fili was shocked to see his little brother standing there. “Kili! What are you doing here? You should be at home!” he said, letting Kili climb up onto his back. “Have you been here all this time? Where were you!”

Kili pointed over to one of the large trees in the nearby field. “I was up in the tree! I waited a long time for Uncle, but he never came, so I climbed the tree and waited for you!”

Fili sighed. “Ok, well… we’ll just wait a bit longer for Thorin, and if he doesn’t come… I guess we’ll have to walk,”

Kili whined, and his his face in the crook of Fili’s neck. “But I hate walking…” he mumbled. Fili huffed out a laugh.

“Of course. Don’t worry, I’ll carry you for as long as I can. But while we wait, you gotta be on the ground so if we do walk, I have the energy to hold you,” he told Kili, letting him slide off his back. They stood and waited until they were the only ones left. It had been thirty minutes by then, and Kili was spinning around in circles and Fili had sat down on the curb.

Fili sighed. “Okay, Kili. We should get going, come on,”

Kili stopped and let himself fall against the chain link fence behind them. “ _Uuggh!_ ” he groaned. “ _Fine…_ ” he bounced off the fence and flung over to Fili, grabbing his hand. Fili pulled away.

“Sorry, Kee. Thorin said I’m too old to hold hands,” he mumbled, grimacing.

“What? _Awww!_ ” Kili cried, slumping dramatically. He perked back up without missing a beat. “I’m not too old though. I’m too young! Now you have to hold my hand.” he said matter-of-factly, reaching his arm out for Fili to take.

Fili stared at him. Well, he couldn’t really argue with that, he supposed. He took Kili’s hand, and they began walking towards Balin’s. It was easy getting there, but once they arrived, Fili didn’t know where to go from that point forward. He looked to Kili and told him as much.

“Oh. Well… we can figure it out! We can go by street signs! I like to stare out the window when we go places so I know where we will go!” Kili boasted. He grinned up at his brother, and Fili had no choice but to go ahead and trust him.

\--

When Thorin found them, it was almost five in the evening, and the sun was just setting. He returned home that morning after dropping them off, and had promptly passed back out. Once he woke up, it was much later, and he realized he had fallen asleep in the lounge chair in his room. He that found that it was well past the time meant to pick both the boys up, and hurried to the school to collect them as best he could in his dazed stupor.

He knew he shouldn’t have been too surprised not to find either of them in their agreed meeting location, but a sense of underlying panic set in anyway. He parked in front of the main office, and rushed in to check with them to see if the boys were there. No luck. So he got back in his car and drove around until he found them. While not too far off course, at the current rate they were going, they never would have made it home before dark, if at all.

He pulled up next to the curb and rolled down the passenger-side window, leaning over the seat to look at them. Kili was on Fili’s back, and it was apparent he had been crying at some point. Fili look exhausted, so much so that he almost looked relieved when Thorin arrived.

“Boys! Get in the car!” Thorin snapped, followed by some brief coughing. He waited for Fili to help his brother in, and to climb in himself, before turning on him.

“I told you to wait for me right at that spot. The least you could have done was wait for me at Balin’s. What possessed you to do something so _stupid_?” Thorin sneered, “I am not at all surprised you couldn’t be trusted with such a simple task, _and_ you’ve gone and upset your brother as well. Ridiculous,”

He turned back around to the steering wheel without another word, and began the drive home. The tension in the air was thick, and the only noise breaking the silence was the quiet murmur of the radio. After they made it home and everyone was fed, and all the homework situated, Kili asked his Uncle for some of his Halloween candy. Of course, Thorin obliged him. Fili knew better than to even bother asking him though. He wouldn’t have been shocked at all to find out that Thorin had just thrown it all away by then.

He crawled into bed that night earlier than usual, and Pickles took up her rightful place on top of him, purring intensely.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Friday, November 7th** _

Ori and Fili walked down the street together, laughing merrily at tacky jokes they told each other. They walked Fili up to the front door of his home, and Fili thanked Ori for everything, just as he always did. He opened the door and immediately began entering, only to slam directly into Thorin. Yelping, Fili backpedaled several steps while rubbing his nose. Both he and Ori stared up at Thorin nervously, waiting for him to make the next move.

"This is the fourth day in a row that you have brought him back, late," Thorin stated, crossing his arms. "Who are you, and what is it you are doing with him?"

Ori gulped. “M-my name is Ori, s-sir. Do you not know? Fili said he told you about his lessons…” Thorin’s eyebrow raised slowly, and he turned his gaze, comparable to that of the Eye of Sauron, straight onto Fili.

“No, he hasn’t told me anything. Enlighten me, Ori… ?”

“It’s Ori Odek, Mister Thorin sir. And, um, we have this arrangement where he comes home with me, and then my older brother Dori helps him with his homework, and then I bring Fili home,” he explained, glancing around to find Fili. He had moved slightly behind Ori, and was having a staring competition with the lawn. “My brother Dori helps teach kids with dyslexia, and when he found out Fili’s got it, he told him he’d help,”

Dori Odek was one of the names on the sheet Fili’s teacher had given him, he remembered. “And at what cost does this come to? Surely he is not doing this out of the kindness of his heart,” Thorin asked, skeptical. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, looking in it to grab some bills. Ori shook his head frantically.

“Oh, no, no! He doesn’t want anything for it at all. He says that he doesn’t really mind, ‘specially if it’s keeping Fili from being bullied,” Fili looked up at Ori and silently pleaded with him to just stop.

“Bullied?”

“Yes sir. That’s how I met Fili. I had to stay after classes one day and he was there, stuck in a corner because of these boys who were picking on him! It was awful, and I quickly shooed them away and brought him home,”

Thorin remembered that day, also. “Well that is very kind of him. In any case, Fili will not be able to join you for the next week, I am afraid.”

Ori frowned and Fili’s head shot up, distress pouring off him in waves. “Why not?” Ori asked.

“As of now, he is grounded. He left a large mess for me to clean up in the kitchen recently, and he did not tell me anything about your situation. Also, he quite clearly lied to you.” Thorin calmly explained, and looked to his nephew. “He will be coming straight home for the next week, without any privileges,”

 

* * *

 

 

The next several months passed in the blink of an eye. Fili continued his lessons with Dori, and his grades did nothing but improve as a result. Pickles formed an attachment to him as well, and began constantly following Fili around and spent most of her time with him. Thorin tried to put a stop to it, once he bothered to notice. He scolded Fili a number of times about how Pickles was _Kili’s_ , and not his. At one of these instances, Kili happened to be nearby. He quickly came to his older brother’s defense.

“No, it’s fine!” he demanded, “I unnerstand. Flea takes better care uh’er anyway, ‘cause I always forget. And she doesn’t like how loud I am! But I can’t help it. So Flea is better for her than me!”

Thorin merely pursed his lips, but never brought the subject up again. For Thanksgiving, Thorin took the boys over to Dwalin’s, where they were joined by Balin, cousins Oin and Gloin, his wife Krala, and their young son Gimli. It was low-key, and everyone went home full and content. Though, Kili was a bit upset that Gimli was too young to play with. At Christmas, they spent it with just Balin and Dwalin. The boys were spoiled near rotten, especially Kili, and even Pickles too got a few gifts. New years came and passed, with Kili throwing a tantrum that he and Fili weren’t allowed to stay up to see the fireworks. Thorin managed to calm him down once he told them that there were plenty of other holidays that included fireworks coming up.

 

* * *

 

 

_**February 1st** _

 

Thorin tossed his keys on the kitchen counter, and placed the bags of groceries next to them. Dwalin and family friends Bofur and Nori, were right behind him, and Kili was blabbering excitedly in last place. Bofur placed the large case of beer they had bought on the counter by the fridge, and grabbed one, popping the top and leaning against the counter. “How long do we have, boys?” he asked, taking a large swig of his drink.

Dwalin walked over and swatted at him. “About an hour and a half. Get off your lazy ass and help us prepare the food,” he said, lending a hand to Nori to unpack the groceries. Kili was placed to sit on the counter next to Thorin, and Kili was chattering on and on about his school day. Thorin took a dishtowel and plopped it down on Kili’s head, instructing him to dry himself off from the rain.

He and his men set towards making their little party platters, and Kili went off to do his homework and play on his own until Ori brought Fili home. Within forty minutes, Thorin and his friends went up to watch their game, and all was well.

“So, Thor, has Fili asked you about the permission slip yet?” Dwalin asked during commercials. Thorin looked at him as he ate a handful of nachos.

“What permission slip?” he asked. “I've not heard anything about something like that,”

Bofur leaned back and threw an arm on the back of the couch to see Thorin better. “The team slip! That kiddo wants on his school’s little league rugby team, _bad_ ” he laughed. He stopped when he saw Thorin’s confused expression. “Don’t tell me you didn’t know!”

“I didn’t. That child doesn’t say a thing to me. He only comes to me when it benefits him, really. Never says a thing, but he’s as selfish and as lazy as you could possibly imagine,” Thorin snorted. “Trust me, the last thing he would want is to do something productive like that,”

Dwalin laughed in his face. “Are you kidding me?! That is almost _all_ he would ever talk about, when Balin had him in the afternoons, and when I was over. Fili is… obsessed with rugby. It’s ridiculous! He came over one afternoon with that team sign up slip in his hands, absolutely _begging_ me or Bal to sign the thing,” he shrugged, leaned forward to grab a handful of trail mix and tossed some nuts into the air, catching them in his mouth. “Told him we couldn’t, had to come to you for it,”

Thorin was about to respond, but he heard small feet thundering down the set of stairs that led to his nephews’ play room, making him look up. Sure enough, there was Kili running straight towards him, shouting his name.

“What, what is it, wee beastie?” he asked, standing up and meeting him halfway. Nori, Bofur and Dwalin were all staring at the two, but Thorin waved his hand at them and told them to get back to the game.

“Fili is home! But he is late, and Ori’s not there! He’s all wet too, we have to dry him off!” Kili explained, running over to one of the windows and pointing frantically. Thorin followed him and looked where Kili pointed. Sure enough, there was Fili, trudging through the pouring rain all by himself. Thorin turned to the others and told them that he’d be right back. He and Kili went down to the front door, opening it to find Fili standing there on the doorstep, arm hanging in the air. He let it drop.

“Fili, you’re home, finally! You’re late! Where’s Ori? Did you have fun? Pickles missed you! But not as much as me, I missed you the most!” Kili went on, and on, yanking Fili into the house. “You’re so wet! I’ll get you towels, stay here!” he ran off, leaving Thorin and Fili standing there alone. Fili purposely avoided looking Thorin in the eyes.

“Kili is right. You are both over an hour late, and Ori is nowhere in sight. Explain yourself.” Thorin crossed his arms. Fili just shook his head, flinging drops of water all over.

“Watch your actions, you’re dripping!” Thorin scolded. Fili mumbled out an apology.

“Ori couldn’t help today, he stayed home sick. I had to walk home,” he shrugged. This made Thorin frown deeply.

“I seriously doubt it took you...” he glanced at his watch, “three and a half hours to walk here. Tell me what you were really doing, and _don’t lie to me_.”

“I got lost, and… and the bullies were being mean to me again,” Fili told him, daring to meet Thorin’s gaze. It didn’t last long, and his eyes shot down to Thorin’s beard.

“Bullies, again? They must obviously favor you over others,” Thorin said incredulously. “What are even doing to provoke them? Stop inducing them and you’ll be fine.” He began to walk off, but Fili stopped him by speaking up.

“They make fun of me!” he exclaimed, “... they tease me because I have yellow hair,” he had looked back down and began picking at a thread on his shirt. Thorin turned and looked at him, quickly scanning him from top to bottom. He was soaked to the bone and dripping water all over the hardwood floor.

“Unsurprising. Ereborians, and dwarvish folk in general, do not have blond hair.” Thorin said with reproach, and crooked an eyebrow at Fili. Though Fili had no way to know it, it was a slight at his father, who was from one of the poorer districts of their country. One where the people living there had looser morals and had no problem with mingling between races. “Dry off, and get to your room. See that you don’t drip on anything else,” he sniffed, finally turning and re-joining his companions upstairs.

 

* * *

 

 

Thorin woke to Kili yanking on his arm with as much strength as he could muster at three thirty in the morning. The boy had climbed up onto the bed, and was sitting on his knees. He tugged and tugged, but Thorin did not budge. When Kili paused for a beat, but then began pulling again, Thorin yanked Kili to lie down next to him, holding him against his chest securely with the one arm. Normally Kili would have loved such a gesture, but now he struggled to free himself.

"No Uncle, wake up! _Please!_ Uncle you gotta wake up!" he cried.

While Thorin’s brain said, ‘Kili, keep still. it’s time to sleep’, his mouth said, “Stop moving. Sleep now.”

"Uncle, no! No time for sleeping! You gotta come quick!" Kili pleaded, even going so far as to start yanking at Thorin’s revealed ear.

"Stop! Stop.” Thorin finally gave in, sitting up on his elbows. “What is it," he grunted.

"It's Fili! He is really, really sick!" This made Thorin scoff.

"What? No, I'm sure he’s fine,” _he’s just pretending, to spite me_ , “We'll see how he is in the morning. Come here, you can sleep with me tonight,"

"Uncle _No!_ You have to come now! He's coughing and moaning and I think he's already throwed up, and, and! And he’s--!" Kili cut himself off and looked down abruptly, sniffling. He stopped struggling, and laid his head onto Thorin’s chest. That’s when Thorin knew it was serious.

"... And?" he prodded gently.

"He's crying. … for Amad." Kili whispered. "He’s crying a lot, and he's scared off the kitty, and he keeps asking for Amad..."

It took Thorin another moment to fully wake up, but he finally got out of bed and dragged himself down the hall to the boys' room. The upstairs bathroom had been left open, and its light was on; illuminating a vast majority of the hallway and proving Kili’s earlier claim of Fili vomiting to be correct. The boys' door hung wide open from when Kili rushed to get him, and Thorin could hear Fili's hacking and moaning from several feet away.

Kili clung to his leg, and Thorin could feel him trembling. “Uncle, please, you have to fix him,” he whispered. Relinquishing Kili’s hold on him and directing him to his own bed, Thorin then went over to his oldest nephew.

“Fili,” he said quietly. He hovered over the boy and watched as he curled in on himself and whimpered in pain. He seemed not to notice Thorin.

Thorin said his name again, louder this time. It worked, and got Fili’s attention. He looked over his shoulder at him, and when he saw it was Thorin, he pursed his lips and buried his head in his pillow, stopping his crying almost instantly. Some coughs tried to escape from him, but he remained stubborn.

“Fili, your brother tells me you’re not feeling well,” Thorin coaxed. Fili didn’t say anything at first. “Is this true?” Thorin continued.

Fili pulled his pillow out from under his head and pulled it on top, so he was nothing but a small lump in the bed. “‘M fine,” Thorin heard Fili say, muffled by the pillow. He rolled his eyes and reached over to wrench the pillow away, tossing it to the end of the bed. Fili’s shoulders scrunched up, and he curled in on himself more.

“You don’t sound fine,” Thorin snapped, pushing Fili’s hair out of the way and placing his hand on his forehead. He whipped his hand back to his chest almost as soon as his hand touched the skin. “O-oh Mahal, you are as far from fine as possible,” he uttered. Without a second thought, Thorin bent over and dug his arms underneath Fili’s back and knees, and scooped him up against his chest. Fili grunted in protest and was sent into another coughing fit. Thorin turned to Kili. “Get your shoes on, we’re going to the doctor,” he instructed, not waiting for Kili as he hastily carried Fili away.

 

* * *

 

 

[Good news everyone!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2BNmn8TYdE) I'm back-ish. Well by back I mean I don't-- well anyway. Update!

Even though this is a modern au, I'm still using the middle earth races, obviously. In my mind, everyone looks human, but there are subtleties per race that makes them stand out; Elves are taller and thinner, dwarves are a small bit shorter and more bulky, and hobbits are even shorter and softer, with their huge furry feet! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I'm sorry. I've been having a lot of trouble just kind of... existing, and my mind has been really numb. I've been in a pretty dark place recently, sorry. I've been unable to do much of anything :(
> 
> p.s. good news though, Ori for sure is in the next chapter. But also semi-bad news; the planets have aligned and I have added... 2-3.5 of my WIPs (not including this one) onto the front burner, so I will probably be focusing on those when I am able. But hey they are all Fili angst? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ so there's that. Slán ♥
> 
> oh p.p.s. kili's costume twin totally is tauriel, wow shocker /s
> 
> p.p.p.s. sorry for mistakes I literally just wrote the last 1/3 of this chapter within the last 20 minutes and i'm going to go nap now


	12. The beginning of the end part ii

**February 2nd**

 

Kili had always looked forward to the day he got to ride in the front seat. But now that that day had arrived, he was enjoying it anywhere near as much as he imagined he would. Every few seconds Kili would turn and look to his brother in the back seat. Fili was lying curled up in his blanket in the back seat, coughing up a storm. Every time Kili would look back at his brother, he’d cry to his uncle to hurry up and make things better. He did it so often that Thorin stopped answering poor Kili, but made sure to rub his back now and again. When they pulled into the parking lot, Kili’s cries became more frantic. He had not quite been taught to read yet, but he knew the hospital when he saw it.

“U-Uncle! Why’re we here?! Fee’s not going to die is he?” he keened.

“No, Kili it’s not like that. It’s very late at night right now, and the doctors just aren’t open right now. So, we have to come here, is all. Don’t worry, my wee beastie, everything will be fine.” Thorin tried to reassure him. He found a parking spot as close to the entrance as possible, and Kili leaped out the second the car stopped moving. Thorin scolded him as Kili pried open the back door closest to Fili. Thorin came over and nudged him out of the way.

“Fili, c’mon, let’s go,” he ordered. Fili did nothing but groan and curl up further, making Thorin sigh deeply and Kili clamor with worry. Thorin reached in and pulled Fili out, lifting him to his chest. They walked across the wet parking lot quickly, Thorin regretting not taking the time to put shoes on. Kili didn’t either, and was wearing only his socks. As worried as he was, he still couldn’t help but purposefully stomp through any puddles he came across, but he made sure his parading didn’t splash his brother.

They rushed into the hospital lobby, Thorin’s wet feet slapping against the tile and making the receptionist look up. “Good evening,” he greeted, smiling. “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

“My nephew is very ill. He needs to see a doctor, as soon as possible,” Thorin demanded, slightly perturbed at the man’s cheeriness. He hummed in response, and grabbed a clipboard from behind him.

“Alright sir, I just need you to fill out the proper forms for us, and Dr. Peredhil will be with you shortly.”

Thorin grunted and handed the clipboard to Kili, following him over to the sitting area. He sat with a coughing FIli bundled up on his lap, and with his arms wrapped around him Thorin looked down at the clipboard and filled everything out. Kili curled up in the plastic chair next to him and clung onto the back of Fili’s blanket. After finding out that moaning and groaning would not make things move any faster, he got distracted by his own feet. He removed his sopping wet socks, and began playing with his toes and the bits of lint he found between them.

When he fininshed, Thorin sent Kili back to the desk with it, and finally, after what seemed like eons watching patient after patient be summoned ahead of them, the doctor walked out of the same set of doors once more. The receptionist handed him the clipboard, and he skimmed through the pages. “Thank you, Lindir. Fili Vornson?”

Thorin nodded and stood, but his head whipped back to the chairs when he heard a small thud behind him. Kili, it seemed, had finally lost his battle with sleep. Thorin sighed and rolled his eyes, turning back to the doctor. The man, Dr. Peredhil, smiled back at him. “You may just deposit Fili with me, then return to this little one, if you so wish,” 

When he noticed Thorin hesitate for a moment, Dr. Peredhil reassured him that Lindir would be right there, making sure nothing would happen in the few moments they would be gone. Thorin at last gave him a quiet affirmation, and followed after him. He was led down a long and bleak hallway, its stark white color almost blinding to him. As they passed by the rooms with open doors, Thorin couldn’t help but glance into them. He didn’t see much, but in a couple he was able to spot family members sitting by their loved ones, who were either sleeping peacefully or chatting idly. All too soon, Dr. Peredhil stopped, causing Thorin to nearly walk into him.

“In here will do,” he smiled, gesturing to a small, empty room, that only had room for one patient. Thorin shuffled in, taking care not to hit Fili’s head on the doorframe. He made his way over to the bed and sat Fili down, nudging the boy back to consciousness.

“Hey, wake up,” he said to Fili under his breath, shaking his shoulders. Fili gave a huge yawn and rubbed his eyes, his free hand on the bed behind him holding him up. The blanket fell from his shoulders, back onto the bed and his hand. Thorin hooked a finger under Fili’s chin to make him look in his eyes.

“I’ve gotten a doctor to see you. Cooperate, and don’t go wasting his time. I’ll be outside taking care of your brother. He fell asleep out in the waiting area. Now he’s going to get a crick in his neck, and he’ll be in an awful state for school,” he sighed and rolled his eyes, standing straight. Though he didn’t outright say it, the insinuation of Fili being entirely to blame wasn’t missed at all by the boy. He nodded, waiting for Thorin to let go and begin walking out before giving in to the coughing fit he had been holding in.

 

\--

 

Thorin was jolted awake from his fitful nap by the strange receptionist Lindir. He gasped and jumped sharply, waking poor Kili up as well. Kili whined, but Thorin pulled him back to his side and rubbed his arm to pacify him. He looked around at the few other patrons in the room, then up at Lindir.

“Yes?”

“Sorry to have woken you sir. Dr. Peredhil has requested your presence in the back,” Lindir explained. His eyes followed Thorin’s and landed on Kili, who had his face buried in Thorin’s ribcage. “I will be here to keep your nephews company while you have your discussion with the doctor, no need to worry,” he smiled gently.

Wary, Thorin asked, “Why don’t I just take him back there with me?”

“I'm sorry, but Dr. Peredhil wishes to see you alone, Mister Oakenshield, sir. Though I can follow you if you like, and bring both boys back with me that way,”

“... So be it. Kili, up, let’s go. And be on your best behavior please, for… Lindir.”

Kili untangled himself from his uncle and slid off the plastic chair. He yawned and waved lazily at him in a ‘sure, sure, whatever,’ manner, and dragged himself over to Lindir, latching onto his scrubs.

“‘Kay le’s go see Flea,” he said through another yawn. Lindir looked extremely unsure and uncomfortable, but forced a smile. He led the two back through the revolving double doors and straight to the room with Fili and Dr. Peredhil.

The doctor stood when he saw them and ushered a pale looking Fili over. “Mister Oakenshield, thank you for coming back. There are a couple of things I’d like to discuss with you, in private,”

Kili immediately embraced Fili in a bear hug, then unwrapped him from the blanket to drape it over the both of them. “We have to go with Mister Linda so Uncle can do his secret talking, but he said we’d have fun and take us out for ice cream on the way home, and cookies too!” he explained loudly, making sure to glance back meaningfully at his uncle.

Thorin stared back at him in amusement. “Oh really? … Go on, get out of here you cheeky thing. The sooner I finish my chat with the good doctor, the sooner we can go home and sleep,”

The boys let themselves be led away by Lindir, and it wasn’t until he was sure they were out of earshot that Dr. Peredhil turned to Thorin with a furrow in his brow.

“Please, have a seat,” he told Thorin, gesturing to a spare chair and grabbing one of his own. “Mister Oakenshield, I am very concerned about Fili. Well, first. As far as his illness, it’s just a bad case of influenza. Lots of rest and fluids should do the trick, and your basic over the counter cold medicine will do the trick. It should only be maybe two to three days at most,”

“Yes, of course. I suppose that would be a sufficient enough discipline for mucking about in the rain,” Thorin chuckled. Dr. Peredhil smiled weakly.

“I see. Mister Oakenshield, Fili shows serious signs of depression. I noticed a few things, namely that he is a bit underweight for someone his age. Lack of appetite is one of the symptoms, as is loss of interest in everyday activities and being easily exhausted. Sound familiar? When I asked him a few questions, his answers were… concerning, to say the least.”

Thorin snorted. “Depression? No. Children can’t be depressed. Whatever it is he told you… I am sure that he was just doing it for attention. He likes to do that, pushing boundaries and seeing what kind of lies he can get away with.”

The doctor was much less amused than Thorin. “Sir, I asked him, as I do with all my patients when I’ve finished checking them over, if there was anything else I could do for him. He asked me if there was anything I could do to to make it so he wasn’t sad all the time.

“I asked him what he meant by that. What he told me has me extremely concerned. Now normally I wouldn’t be able to say any of this to you; doctor-patient confidentiality, you understand. But this is serious. He told me that what makes him sad the most is thinking about how he had forgotten to tell his mother that she had left the stove on, and left her to take a nap while he and his brother went off to play. And how no matter what it is, what happens, or who does it, everything is his fault.”

Dr. Peredhil sat back with his arms crossed, gauging Thorin’s reaction. Thorin was shocked. He honestly didn’t know what to say, at first. So he just sat and stared at the doctor, not blinking. Hearing that Fili had basically admitted to being the cause of the death of his sister felt like having a bucket of ice water dumped over his head.

“I’m sorry, what?” he finally managed to ask. Dr. Peredhil sat back up.

“Your nephew, a child under the age of ten, has the flu. He is very depressed, and he blames himself for the death of his parents. I very strongly suggest you take him to go see a therapist of some sort, and give him a lot of positive reassurance, and just let him know that you are there for him.”

Dazed, Thorin stood and nodded, holding out his hand for the doctor to shake. “Yes, yes, of course. Thank you, Doctor, for everything. I should take the boys back home, they will probably be…”

Dr. Peredhil matched Thorin’s actions. “Yes, you’re right. Take care, and I should hope we meet again only in better circumstances,”

He led Thorin back to his nephews. Kili was all over Lindir, making sure he was completely decorated in stickers and marker doodles, and Fili was sitting curled up nearby in a chair, bundled up tightly in his blanket. When Kili saw Thorin, he leaped up and ran over to him, clinging onto his leg. 

"Uncle," he whined, "let's go home now, we're tired,"

Thorin ruffled his hair. "Of course, Kili. Let's go,"

 

\--

 

**February 9th**

 

It was one week later, and things had gone right back to how they had been before. Fili was back on his feet, hearty and hale, and back to running around and playfully brawling with his brother. It had taken the better part of three days and a lot of medicine, but Fili was better.

On this day, the sun was out and there was not a cloud in sight. Thorin was out in the backyard, standing at his prized barbecue grilling steaks. Across the yard were Fili and Kili, playing tag with each other. Fili had scraped up the courage to ask if Ori could come over and play too, and Thorin had actually agreed. But when Fili called (he asked Thorin if he could do that for him, but Thorin immediately shut him down), Ori told him that he was too busy and unable to come. Pickles was sitting off to the side by the swingset, cleaning herself.

Next to Thorin stood Dwalin, in his favourite pair of sandals and cargo shorts, sunglasses on top of his head and beer in hand. He looked over at the boys right as Thorin flipped the steaks. He, Bofur and Nori were hanging around him, shooting the shit.

“It’s good to see him up and about again,” he said, watching as Fili accidentally made Kili trip and land on his face. Kili sat back up immediately, laughing hysterically while Fili crowded around him to make sure he was okay.

Thorin glanced over at them and grabbed his own beer, shrugging slightly. “Yeah, he was pretty sick for a while, but the doctor said it was just a basic cold. You know, he also said that Fili was depressed,” he snorted, rolling his eyes. “Absurd, isn’t it? Doctors will say anything to get more money out of us. You’d think they’re paid enough already to be above such things,”

From behind Thorin was Nori, sitting on the ice chest. It was plainly obvious that he, Dwalin and Bofur were shocked. “Depression is no laughing matter Thorin. If the doctor says he’s got it then you better take that shit seriously,” he warned.

Thorin turned to him. “Fili is fine. Look at him, he’s fine. The doctor said he was too thin, and that’s the only thing I find that he’s said is true,”

The atmosphere had become tense, and for several moments the four of them sat in silence. Kili ran over to Nori to show him a snail that he had found on the ground. Nori humoured him and played with him for a minute, then sent him along back to his brother.

Sitting over to the right of them in a beat up patio chair was Bofur. Never a fan of awkward silences, he tried to lighten the mood, clearing his throat first. “Well, no problem fixing that! Just have ‘em stay with us for a bit, Bombur’ll fatten ‘em both right up. Then we’d be able to use ‘em as soccer balls!”

“Aye, that’s true enough! Say, Thorin, speaking of. Did you sign Fili’s slip yet? For the rugby team,” Dwalin asked. He was plating the steaks for Thorin, who had gone to grab another drink from the ice chest, and had to shove off Nori in the process.

Thorin gave out a bark of laughter. “What, are you kidding? That’s not happening. His grades still aren’t up to par, for one thing. And another, he doesn’t do as he’s told, and quite frankly he needs an attitude adjustment.

“So, obviously, I’m not going to just hand him something he doesn’t deserve. Nori, I’m sure in your line of work you’ve seen what happens to spoiled children who aren’t given what they want.” he looked towards the man, as if looking for back up.

Nori was notorious in the community for being a criminal, a thief. Though his older brother Dori had booted him from their home, he would still visit a handful of days per week to see Ori, and now Fili, to give the boys treats.

There was a pregnant pause as the other three stared at Thorin with their eyes narrowed in confusion. “So… what you’re saying, Thorin… is that if you let Fili join his school’s rugby team, he’ll grow up to be a criminal?” Bofur asked slowly.

“Well, _no,_  not that exactly, but-- y'know, like father, like son,”

“Thorin that is the most retarded thing I’ve ever fucking heard in my life,” Nori snapped, glaring at him now. He turned to look at Dwalin. “What’s your take on this bullshit?”

Dwalin was pinching the bridge of his nose. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. _How_ could I not have seen this before?” he mumbled to himself. He looked up to Thorin incredulously. “You’re it, aren’t you? You’re the goddamned reason he’s depressed. Me and Balin have noticed, you know, that he was always especially quiet, and that he sometimes tended to just stare out the window. He’s tried to bring it up with us before, I think, but he was probably too scared. I’m _ashamed_ with myself that I never paid attention to it… what the hell is it that you do to him, Thorin?”

“Now hold the fuck on, if you’re insinuating that I have ever laid a hand on that boy-- I have _never_ done that,” Thorin growled, “I’ve simply done what I felt is right, for _him_ , to make sure he goes down the right path. Do unto others as you would have--”

The force of the blow sent Thorin scrambling backwards and then crashing straight to the ground. He had hit the side of the grill, and the plate of steaks went flying. Thorin was sat up on one hand, holding the side of his face with the other.

“ _What the_ fuck _was that?!_ ” he bellowed. Dwalin started on him again, shouting at him to watch his language, but Bofur ran in between them.

“Now hold on! Just you wait one moment and wind your beard up! Nori, take the boys and go!”

“Already on it,” Nori told him, wrangling the two little ones up from where they were sitting, blowing dandelions. “Hey, you two. Ice cream?” Kili shouted out in glee loud enough for the both of them, and Nori scooped them both up, briskly taking them away via the back gate.

Thorin had stood back up, and was holding his face. “You absolute shithead!” he shouted. Bofur was still standing between them, and was holding his arms up now.

“Thorin,” Dwalin snarled, “I never thought I’d say this to you, but you are the scum of the Earth. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Without a second thought, Dwalin shoved Bofur out of the way with ease, grabbed Thorin by the collar and shoved him over into the nearest wall, holding him there with his forearm. “Now you listen here, dick,” he started.

For the next ten minutes, Dwalin shouted in his face, lecturing him about how horrible a person he had been. He almost began throttling Thorin when he tried to get a word in, but then Balin showed up seemingly out of nowhere. Looking over to Bofur in confusion, Bofur told him that he didn’t know and that it must have been Nori.

Dwalin was immediately shooed out of the way by his older brother, and if Thorin thought Dwalin’s lecture was terrifying, he quickly found out that it was made to look like a jaunty tune compared to Balin’s.

 

\--

 

Bofur sat inside the house on one of the sofas and in front of the television, next to Dwalin. Both of them were nursing beers and watching a rerun of a basic cable documentary. He took a deep breath and looked over to Dwalin.

“It’s been an hour,” he said. Dwalin snorted.

“Yup.”

Muting the already quiet television, the pair sat listening to the muted shouting coming from outside.

“I’m impressed, really. Didn’t know Balin could go on for this long.”

This made Dwalin laugh. “I think it more has to do with him having a lot of pent up frustration he hasn’t been able to just… release, for a long time. Thorin being such an extreme cock-knocker was probably just the thing he was looking for. He used to do this when we were kids; put up with a lot of shit for a while until finally someone would cross the line, usually me, and then he’d let loose,”

“Listen-- he’s stopped,” Bofur pointed out. They both leaned back to look out the arcadia door, waiting to see if anything interesting would happen in their view-line. After about half a minute, Balin appeared and silently entered the house. He caught sight of the two, and they raised their hands in greeting at him.

“You good?” Dwalin asked him. Balin took a deep breath through his nose.

“For now,” he told them. He walked to the kitchen and grabbed himself a water bottle from the fridge, coming back over and plopping down next to them on the couch. He sighed and looked over to them. “I had a good long chat with Thorin, and what I can tell you is that he will be thinking long and hard about his actions. And, that for the time being, there will be no way in hell the boys will be staying here.

Bofur, what do you say to having them stay with you? I think it would be nice for them to be around Bombur’s children, perhaps.”

Without skipping a beat, Bofur nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, that’s a great idea, and I’m sure Danla would love it too,” he stood and pulled his phone out of his back pocket. “I’ll call Nori and let him know to drop them off there. Bal, come help me pack some stuff for them?”

Dwalin waited for them to make off to the boys’ room before he himself got to his feet. He finished his drink and threw away the bottle, then walked out to the backyard where Thorin still was. Thorin was on the ground now, curled up and hiding his face in his hands. Dwalin grabbed the chair Bofur had sat in earlier and pulled it to rest across from Thorin. A few seconds after Dwalin made himself comfortable, Thorin scrubbed his hands down his face and looked off at some part of the backyard.

The upper left half of his face was swollen from where Dwalin had punched him earlier, but Dwalin was surprised to see that his nose was bleeding and beginning to swell also. Did Balin do that? He also took note that Thorin seemed to have actually been crying at some point.

"I fucked up, didn’t I,” Thorin said flatly, still avoiding Dwalin’s gaze.

“Oh yeah, you fucked up. You fucked up real good, Thor,” Dwalin told him. He stood up and walked back into the house, leaving Thorin to stew in his thoughts and emotions.

* * *

 

I'm saying this first before I forget, but if you guys ever comment and I don't reply, then I don't know what happened because I can assure you that I sure as hell did. I think it's probably happened a few times now that I've totally replied only for it to not appear :/

 So, given how unreliable I am with updates, and I honestly do not know when I'll get the next chapter, which is very likely the last chapter, out, so I've decided to set up a [preview](http://werewulftherewulf.tumblr.com/post/99080838830/why-must-you-be-so-blind-chapter-14-preview) for you guys. Have at it :)

  



	13. The end

May 13th

 

Thorin didn’t think he’d ever be in this position ever again. Here, standing nervously before the front door, waiting for the arrival of his nephews. He went to absently play with his cufflinks, but discovered he was wearing only a red t-shirt. Frowning, he awkwardly crossed his arms across his chest.

 

Two days ago, he received a call from Bofur. For the past three months, Fili and Kili had been living with him, Bifur, Bombur and Bombur’s family. Updates from Dwalin and Balin told him that the boys were thriving in their new environment. Fili no longer had to be tutored by Dori, but he continued his friendship with Ori, which had only grown stronger. It was mentioned that he met a girl at school, and he must have a crush on her because he talked about her all the time.

 

The amount of talking he did now too was a huge improvement. He talked almost as much as Kili did, but he certainly laughed a lot more. When Thorin asked about Kili, he was told that at first, Kili was upset because he had to leave his uncle. But then it was explained to him that Thorin had done lots of really, really mean things to Fili, and now Kili was always angry whenever he thought of his uncle. This upset Thorin, but he knew that he deserved it. Whenever he’d ask if he could see them again, he’d be immediately hung up on.

 

So when he picked up the phone only to hear Bofur on the other line, Thorin nearly had a heart attack. He didn’t get a word in, though. Bofur stated what he had to say, then hung up on him.

 

“This Saturday, I’m dropping the boys off for Fili’s birthday. You will throw him a little birthday party and you will fucking  apologize to him, and you will  mean it. Any small misstep, and he will tell me. And if he tells me something like that, Bombur will not fucking hesitate to take you to court for custody.”

 

Thorin leaned over a bit, trying to peer out the front window when he heard a vehicle pull into his driveway. Bofur’s old white pickup was there, and he watched Bofur climb out before snapping back into place. His nerves wouldn’t allow him to lay eyes on either Fili nor Kili those few seconds early, and the louder their footsteps became the faster his heart beat.

 

Finally, there was a strong knock on the door. Taking a long, deep breath, Thorin stepped forward and opened it. Bofur was standing there, holding two overstuffed backpacks. On his left was little Kili, who was clinging to Bofur’s pant leg and glaring up at Thorin mercilessly. Fili was on his right, not meeting his gaze. He was staring off somewhere past him, probably the back door. Hesitantly, Thorin crouched down to their level and smiled warmly at them. Spreading his arms, he greeted them.

 

“Hello, boys. It’s very nice to see you again.” he stated. When the boys didn’t even twitch, Thorin let his arms fall to his side and he stood back up and took the bags from Bofur. “Right. Thank you, Bofur, for bringing them. I’ll make sure they get back to you in one piece,” he smiled weakly. Bofur’s frown deepened.

 

“As I said: I will  know if you so much as sneer in their general direction. There are some birthday gifts for Fili back in my truck, I’ll be right back.” he gently nudged the boys towards the door, and turned around to walk to his vehicle. Thorin gave a light sigh and watched the boys traipse in, immediately dumping their things off in the living room and heading up the stairs to their room to play. Bofur reappeared and didn’t bother saying anything to Thorin, leaving the man to close the door behind him. He just brushed past Thorin and walked into the dining room, placing the bags of presents on the table.

 

“I’ll be back for them tomorrow afternoon, unless I get a phone call at some point that’s one of them pleading to come back home.” he said, voice void of any emotion. 

 

Thorin never got any chance to respond to him at all, he was gone almost the same moment he appeared. He glanced over at the gifts on the table and moved to the living room, picking up the boys’ packs. He climbed up the stairs and smiled slightly to himself when he began to hear the sound of them talking and laughing with each other. When he stood outside their room, the door was slightly ajar, and he hid behind it, listening. It was Fili who was doing most of the talking, which surprised him.

 

“Okay, the bed is a huge tall cliff and somehow Thoya got up there so Tali and Etka have to find her,” Fili explained. Thorin took the risk and peered in, watching as he took a doll and placed it up on top of Kili’s bed. Kili had his own doll placed on top of a large plastic giraffe that really stuck out from the rest of the toys. It was galloping around with help from Kili’s hand, and he was making quiet neighing noises under his breath. Fili was also muttering to himself, but it was for the conversation two of his toys were having. He turned and had them climb up the bedsheet, and called out to Kili’s toys, the boys giggling together as the giraffe and its rider climbed up the same path, defying gravity shamelessly.

 

Not taking his eyes off them, Thorin took a step back, preparing to head back downstairs. He cringed when the floorboard his foot found groaned loudly underneath its weight. The boys’ heads whipped around to find him, and their stares bore through his skull. Swallowing his pride, Thorin went back forward and pushed open the door a bit wider so he could step in.

 

“I was wondering if you two would like to pop on down to the shop with me? I’d like to get some things for dinner tonight, and I need to pick up your cake, Fili. Maybe you two could get a treat while we’re there, too,” he smiled weakly. Kili looked to his brother, who had remained staring at Thorin. Finally, he nodded, and Thorin’s heart skipped a beat.

 

Fili placed his toys down and climbed to his feet, grabbing Kili’s arm and bringing him up with him.

 

“C’mon Kee let’s go,” he said, Kili following without argument. He latched onto Fili’s hand, glaring up at Thorin as they went by him. He followed after them, finding them at the base of the stairs, waiting for him. It was his turn to lead them, out the door and to the car. Fili buckled him and his brother in with quick efficiency, and Thorin sped off with them in less than five minutes.

 

His initial plan when they got there was to get in and get out with Fili’s cake and ice cream then head back home. What he did not anticipate was Kili pointing at every dangling toy on the aisles they hurried down and demanding that he’d never wanted anything more in his life, ever. Thorin had no choice but to sigh and toss it in the basket that Fili dutifully guided. Thorin made sure not to say anything other than, ‘Yes, I’m fine,’ through gritted teeth every time the cart was run over his ankles and Kili loudly asked, “Uncle, ARE YOU OKAY?”

 

When they made it to the bakery and Thorin got his hands on the cake, Kili asked another question as loud as he could muster:

 

“Why isn’t that carrot cake? It should be carrot cake, Flea likes carrot cake the most!” he scolded Thorin. Thorin pursed his lips and held the cake in front of him for a moment. He turned back to the bakery counter.

 

“I’m sorry for the bother, but I don’t suppose I could get this same cake… but carrot cake instead of marble?” he asked weakly.

 

“We can,” the worker said, “but it’ll take a little while. If you’ve got a bit more shopping to do…”

 

“Yeah, yeah. we’ll be back in a bit,” he grabbed Kili’s wrist and dragged them away towards another aisle. They wandered around for half an hour, Kili tossing in random objects he could reach into the cart while Fili steered it around wildly, keeping Thorin on edge. When Fili turned to him and declared that he didn’t actually like steering the basket because he couldn’t even see that well, especially now that Kili was perched inside. Thorin tried not to take control of the cart too frantically.

 

They picked up the cake, an extra container of cupcakes and a gallon of neapolitan ice cream before heading home. In the car, Kili took all the additional bits and bobs and dumped them all on Fili.

 

“These are all my gifties to you from me!” he shouted. He then rushed forward from his spot in the back and embraced Fili tightly, refusing to let go. When they got home and placed all the groceries on the counter, Thorin asked Fili if he’d like to do cake and presents right then.

 

“No. I want to play with Pickles now. Where is my kitty?” he asked seriously.

 

“Yes, of course! She was laying in the basket of clothes I pulled from the dryer earlier. She enjoys doing that a lot… keeps a healthy layer of fur on everything,” 

 

Fili largely ignored him and walked off in the direction of the laundry room. Kili remained with his uncle, waiting until they were alone.

 

“Uncle  I’d like some cake now--” 

 

“It’s not your decision, silly boy,” Thorin smiled, nudging him away after his brother. 

 

He watched them disappear around the corner to the laundry room then stuck the cake in the fridge and the ice cream in the freezer and dumped the extra toys on the desk up in the boys’ room. When he came back down they went right up past him and straight into where Thorin came out of. They were clearly caught up in their own games and had no intention of pestering Thorin further, so there was really only one other thing Thorin could do. He grabbed a beer, a bowl of party mix, and relaxed completely into the sofa, his sock clad feet propped up on the coffee table.

 

Today an important rugby match was on, and Thorin was in no way going to miss any second of it (unless pressing needs surfaced, such as the boys suddenly needing attention.)

 

Within twenty minutes of the game, he was back to sitting on the edge of his seat, snapping curses and insults at the opposing team or the blunders of his own. He sighed and combed a hand through his hair, standing up when it cut to commercial. Patting himself down in search of his cigarettes, he looked around the room to see if he could spot them. He startled when he saw sitting there, on the stairs, Fili, who had clung to the railing.

 

Thorin noticed that he was wearing a shirt that was definitely meant for adults, and upon further inspection realized it was a jersey for the team Thorin rooted for. Where did that come from? He didn’t have that on before. Their eyes locked, and one of Thorin’s eyebrows rose in intriguement. Fili gasped, bolting back up the stairs in the next instant. 

 

Well, that was odd. Thorin made a noise in the back of his throat, then another when he spotted his carton of cigarettes lying conspicuously on the end table by the front door. After his smoke, Thorin came back in, sat back down and resumed muttering obscenities at the television.

  
\-----------

 

Thorin didn’t notice him when he came back inside, and Fili was glad. He was curled back up on the stairs, in just the right spot where he could see over the couch and past Thorin. When Thorin spotted him a few minutes before, Fili scrambled back to his room, heart thumping wildly in his chest. He played with Kili impatiently for the time being, the debate weighing heavily in his mind whether or not he should sneak back down and finish watching the game.

 

Was watching the rugby match worth his uncle’s wrath? … Yes. This was an important match. “Ok, Kili I’m going back down to try and watch the game, you keep being quiet ok? I’ll tell Uncle that you did actually brush your teeth when he checks at night if you do, ok?” he told his brother, who was scribbling on sheets of printer paper with markers.

 

“Yeah, ok, Flea, ok go watch your sports game now, I’m busy,” Kili rambled on back to him, not bothering to look up and shoving his brother away with one hand. Fili laughed as he got up, and thanked him for his cooperation before quickly running back to his spot on the staircase, seconds before Thorin reentered the house. The game resumed, and both he and Fili sat tense, their entire focus on the match.

 

The next set of commercials came all too soon, and again Thorin was up on his feet, stretching his back. His eyes caught Fili’s again, and Fili was on his feet in less than a second. Right as he began charging back up the stairs, Thorin called out his name, stopping him in his tracks.

 

“... You would be able to see the game much better if you were to be down here on the couch,” he told him. He could see Fili’s feet shuffling on the carpet of the steps for a few seconds, and then he turned and crouched so he could see Thorin without the ceiling getting in the way.

 

Their gazes remained locked with one another, until finally Thorin realized nothing would ever be done with him staring the boy down like that. So he nodded gently at him and walked the short distance to the kitchen, grabbing a few more drinks.

 

When he returned to the sofa, Fili was already there, sitting in the far corner opposite Thorin. Awkwardly, Thorin tried to hand Fili a soda. When he didn’t take it, he placed it on the coffee table and opened himself another beer. 

 

Thirty minutes and two sets of commercials later and things were still tense between them. Thorin cleared his throat halfway through an ad for a prescription drug. He looked over at Fili.

 

“So…” he began, “how long have you liked rugby?” he asked.

 

Fili turned towards him, staring at him seriously. His eyes slipped down to the hands in his lap.

 

“It was Dad’s,” he responded quietly, clenching his hands in the fabric of the jersey. “He gave it to me for my birthday last year and we watched games together every week in the season,”

 

Thorin was ashamed at himself for immediately thinking of Befob.

 

“I see. Your father was a very kind man. It’s a shame he had to go th-- that he’s gone,” Thorin lamented. Fili nodded.

 

“I miss him,” he said. His voice dropped down to a whisper, “and mom,”

 

Thorin’s heart skipped a beat, and he looked down at his own hands.

 

“Yeah, I miss her too. She always made sure to keep me and our brother in line,” a small smile flickered on his features. Fili looked up curiously.

 

“You have a brother?” he asked. Thorin nodded.

 

“I did, yes. His name was Frerin. He was in a fire accident too, like your mother,” he explained sadly.

 

“Oh. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’d do without Kili,” Fili’s eyebrows scrunched up in despair. Pickles appeared from nowhere right then and hopped up on the couch, immediately curling up on Fili’s lap. He pulled her up into his arms. “You don’t have anyone left now, do you?” he asked Thorin.

 

“That’s not true at all, Fili! I have you and Kili,” Thorin said without hesitation. Fili stared back at him with a withering gaze.

 

“That’s not true. You have Kili. I have Kili and Pickles. I have to pee.” he gently shoved Pickles off him to the cushions and slid off, puttering off to the bathroom. Thorin sat back in shock, his can of beer nearly crushed in the sudden strength of his grip. 

 

When Fili returned the air between them was tense, and Fili ignored Thorin entirely to stare at the television and stroke Pickles. Another two sets of commercials came and went before Thorin broke the silence.

 

“Fili… I want to apologize-- I  need  to apologize to you.” he turned to sit sideways on the couch, looking at the small blond. He knew Fili was listening to him and only pretending to ignore him because he was staring spaced out at the coffee table. Thorin cleared his throat.

 

“I’m sorry. I have treated you poorly. Well, worse than that. Much worse. You did not deserve any bit of it. I was being petty and blaming you for being your father’s son--”

 

“He’s not my father.” Fili interrupted quietly. “He hurt my momma, he’s not my father,”

 

Thorin nodded. “He hurt you too, and you’re right. You will never be, and you are so much better than him. I hope that maybe one day I can properly make it up to you but I know it likely won’t be until years from now,” he continued grimly. “I’m sorry, Fili.”

 

Fili looked away. “I want to eat cake now,” he declared. Thorin jumped to his feet.

 

“Of course!” he reached over and grabbed the remote control, pausing the game. “Kili, cake!” he shouted over towards the stairs.

 

“FINALLY!” Kili shouted, flying down the steps in an instant. He roared past them both and crashed into the kitchen, clambering up a chair at the dining table. He sat on his knees putting on the facade of the perfect angel. Fili climbed up quietly across from him and let his legs dangle. Thorin brought over the large carrot cake and placed it on the table, sticking ten rainbow candles in it.

 

“Ten, that’s quite the number. You’re practically an adult now, kid,” he told Fili as he lit them.

 

“Um, no, he is not a big stinkin’ grownup! No way!” Kili shouted, pretending to wretch. Fili looked up at him with a look of despair.

 

“I don’t want to be a grownup, I can’t get a job for six years! I can’t provide for a family,” he cried, “I don’t even like any of the girls at school,”

 

“I was kidding you two. You both have too long of hair to get any sort of jobs anyway,”

 

“I’m never cutting my hair.” both boys said simultaneously. They looked at each other and giggled. Kili and Thorin sang happy birthday to Fili and let him blow out the candles and make the first slice of the cake. Thorin served them both cake and ice cream before sneaking out and bringing in all the presents from himself and Kili (Bofur). 

 

Kili had come to the conclusion that since there were so many gifts sitting there on the table, his older brother would need help opening them. Fili didn’t seem to mind, and was even amused as Kili gasped and fawned over the action figures and even a couple of books Bofur bought for him. Thorin bought Fili some books too, popular ones that he heard children liked; Harry Potter and The Magic Treehouse among others.

 

“I thought you may like to sit down and practice reading together. I’d like to help you get a bit better,” he explained. Fili nodded and thanked him quietly, never meeting his eyes. Fili was handed a small sponge rugby ball by Kili, and his eyes lit up at the thought of playing catch with his little brother.

 

“That is to help you practice,” Thorin said, smiling. He now stood next to Fili and placed a wrapped up shoe box in front of him. Fili ripped away the paper and opened the box, Kili ooh-ing and aah-ing across the table as Fili pulled out a pair of rugby boots and a jersey belonging to his school. Right as Fili looked up at Thorin in sad confusion, Thorin presented him with a folded and creased slip of paper.

 

“I went to your school and asked a favor of an acquaintance of mine,” he started before being interrupted by Kili.

 

“Ooooooh!  Was it Missus Boggeeeeens? I bet it waaaas, you  liiiiike her!” he teased, giggling when Thorin’s cheeks turned pink.

 

“That’s none of your business, squirt,” he grumbled. “What’s important is that Fili is now a part of the school’s rugby team. It was too late to get the slip in but with a little help from--”

 

“Missus Boggins says she’s gotta DATE this week’nd, she asked you out onna DATE and you said YES so she put in his paper HUH!?” Kili shouted, sitting up on his knees.

 

“She  told people??” Thorin gasped, cheeks getting more and more red every second.

 

“Yeah, she told the whole class!” Kili giggled. Thorin opened his mouth to retort but the words caught in his throat when he felt a sudden pressure on his stomach. Looking down, Fili was hugging him around the waist and resting his head on Thorin’s ribcage.

 

“Thank you. Thank you so much,” Fili whispered in a wavering voice. Pursing his lips, Thorin brought his own arms around Fili.

 

“Of course. Anything for you.  Everything for you and your brother, always,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaay, the end! And it's not in Finnish! Woohoo!


	14. Chapter 14

I know what you're thinking. YAY, an update! But, EH?!?! FINNISH!?!

I've had tons of people ask me to finnish my stories! So I went ahead and Finnished this one, including the new (and final) chapter! (Chapter 13)

  

...  
...

This is a stupid joke, by the way. I'll fix it tomorrow, with a bonus chapter to tell you when it's happened! Also please don't think I'm making fun of you for misspelling 'finish'. I'm not, I'm just having a bit of fun :)

 

**EDIT: EVERYTHING'S BACK TO NORMAL NOW, INCLUDING THE[LAST CHAPTER ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2122464/chapters/5303945)AND THE FOLLOWING BONUS ONE. I'm keeping this chapter up in case someone finds this relic and is baffled by the Finnish debacle, it'll be hilarious.**


	15. Bonus chapter/Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised ;) short but sweet  
> let me know what you think, precious goobers

[(go read chapter 13 first if you're lost)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2122464/chapters/5303945)

 

 

**2 years later**

  


“Everyone buckled up?” Thorin asked, one arm swung around the back of the passenger seat as he looked back at the boys.

 

“Yes!” they chimed, both holding ice cream shakes. They were a treat given to both of them after Fili’s spelling bee that evening.

 

Fili had beat his entire class to get in to compete against the rest of his grade. He didn’t place first, nor second, third, fourth or even fifth. He managed to get eighth place and was awarded a participation ribbon. Both Thorin and Kili knew better and that it was quite the achievement to even make it that far from where he was two years ago.

 

“Aw look Uncle, Fili got an extra cherry in his ice cream. It’s cause he’s got his face hair now isn’t it? I can’t wait to get prickly too because then I’ll get like fifty extra cherries!” Kili despaired. Fili blushed and hunched his shoulders, hiding the near invisible peach fuzz

 

“No, that’s not it…” Fili mumbled, “it was just an accident,”

 

“Well whatever it was, don’t make a mess of the back of my new SUV. I don’t want any spills or accidents, alright?”

 

The boys nodded and began slurping down their treats noisily. When they arrived home, Fili grabbed Thorin and Kili’s hands and dragged them into the house, plopping down right on the couch in front of the large television taking up the whole wall.

 

“Homework first thing tomorrow morning,” Thorin instructed as he stuck a bag of popcorn in the microwave. He pulled the bag out and opened it up, dumping it all into the bowl held in Kili’s arms. The small brunet was ushered over to the couch with his brother and stuck in between him and Thorin.

 

Thorin turned on the television just in time for the rugby match to start. The lights were all turned off, the windows curtained, the home phone unplugged.

 

Kili wasn’t really as big a fan of the sport as Thorin and Fili, but he enjoyed being able to stay up late and eating popcorn, so he dealt with their intense  and over the top reactions.

 

Tonight both were eerily quiet, the only sound beside the match being Kili’s munching on the popcorn. When the television was muted during commercials the crunching became super awkward. It must’ve been an important match. They’d both simultaneously flinch every so often though, startling Kili each time.

 

Near the end, the announcer suddenly started screaming and shouting, Fili and Thorin were screaming and shouting and were on their feet, and Kili was screaming and shouting out in fear, popcorn flying everywhere.

  
“I hate this sport!” Kili wailed, clutching the popcorn bowl to his chest, “I’m going to do my homework like a responsible adult and then I will go to bed on time for tomorrow because sports are stupid! ” he shrieked, sprinting up the stairs to his room. Fili and Thorin both ignored him to continue shouting obscenities at their team. Minutes later Kili charged back downstairs and grabbed Pickles.

"Pickles dun like sports either!"

**Author's Note:**

> Updates will be extremely sporadic and chapters are consecutive order, but do not... continue immediately one after the other. Ya hear? Anyway I have at least 11 other fics (most of which are Fili angst lmao) and they've all been WIPs since before the trailer for DoS was released so if you expect me to magically update like thrice a week you've got another thing coming friends  
> anyway
> 
> if you don't like it tell me how to make it better but if you do like it talk to me anyway


End file.
